I recently bought a new house, and off the bat I noticed two problems. One annoying, and one really annoying. I'll start with the less-annoying one and work my way up.
Problem 1:
See if you can spot what's wrong with this picture.
Must be one of those Escher-designed buildings.
Now that that's out of the way, let's move on to the bigger issue.
Problem 2:
MY JOHN'S INFESTED WITH PIGS!
I swear to Pot that there are piggies in my bathroom wall! Everyone says I'm crazy, but I can distinctly hear the sound of oinking right behind me every time I try to relieve myself! I can't even tell you how many times the oinking's caused me fall down the hole! I may have managed to wash off the odor, but I'll never be able to get rid of the stain on my soul.
So in conclusion, please send your top barnacle/pig correctional experts to my house. I'll pay you in barnacle mortar and meats.