hehe. Yeah, a chicken just told me a cautionary tale - beware the ides of Tii. We should start compiling them:
A Chicken Named Cyclonius: Beware the ides of Tii.
You talked to a Chicken.
A Chicken Named Cyclonius You don’t believe me? Fine. Just come the ides of Tii, you’ll see. Anything can happen: poisonings, insanification, spontaneous explosionings…
A Chicken Named Cyclonius …gravity sucks and sudden baldness. I’ve seen it all. I’ve seen it all. You watch your step on the ides of Tii.
A Chicken Named Cyclonius I look like I know? I couldn’t tell you. They’re dangerous, though. Beware them. Beware. Beware the ides of Tii.
Just got a tree and a piggy, well I never.
A talking tree!
A Piggy Named Foster Man, one time? On Recurse Eve? In the dying days of the thirteenth age of Pot…
A Piggy Named Foster Or nineteeth. Whatever. Whichever of those was the totally righteous one. In the dying days of THAT era, I heard the most dedicated of the Potians wiped out the entire world stock of hooch before the party was halfway done.
A Piggy Named Foster They had to break into the Giants' Private Cavern, and "borrow" their stash of Hell Wine.
A Piggy Named Foster Ya, dude. You know? From those crazy hellish grapes?
A Piggy Named Foster You haven’t? Dude. Be grateful. That stuff is some bad, BAD vino.
Bubble Tree Pop! Pop pop pop!
Bubble Tree Shhhhhh. Testing for hidden wires. Can you hear whining? Feedback? Pop! Pop pop! Shhh…
Bubble Tree Come back later. Another time. Be on the safe side. In the meantime: trust no one. NO ONE.
Not everyone is getting the same stories. In fact at the moment nobody is getting the same stories. Also, people don't have to read them if they prefer a surprise. Some people aren't getting them at all.
Beryl Rock Spriggan thought it was funny, you know.
You talked to a Beryl Rock.
Beryl Rock To get back at almighty Zille, creator of all, Spriggan offered to help out tending the rocks one day. You know, to get on her good side.
Beryl Rock ZILLE, may she look kindly upon my greenly obedience. Zille? The one true giant? Giant before all giants, sculptor of creation, she who cannot be shaken? Zille, all obsequious obeisance to her name. Anyway, to make a long story short…
Beryl Rock …Spriggan, so proud of the way his piffling tree things worked, decided everything, everything should have roots. And PING! Everyone gets roots. And suddenly PAF. Beryl gets to grow back.
Beryl Rock I know. Ridiculous. That Spriggan. Don’t tell anyone I said this, but – *shhhh* – he’s not as funny as he thinks he is. And what is more…
Beryl Rock Regeneration is a right pain in the elements.
Sparkly Rock I was just thinking about you, princess.
Sparkly Rock Well, not about you specifically. More about Glitches
in general.
Sparkly Rock You know, this might be the first age, but you were not the first two-legged blips to pop from the combined minds of the giants.
Sparkly Rock Oh, you should have seen the others though. Dark clouds over their heads, some of them, wouldn’t smile for love nor tickling, swords in hand, beards full of grizzle. Bleh! Filthy, they were!
Sparkly Rock Oh, they didn’t last. There were more, too. Shouty ones, twitchy fingered short ones, they weren’t around for long, I’ll tell you that. I’ll tell you this, too…
Sparkly Rock You’re FAR more my type, handsome.
this from a rock in Abaya Bliss
Sparkly Rock I was just thinking about you, princess.
Sparkly Rock Well, not about you specifically. More about Glitches
in general.
Sparkly Rock You know, this might be the first age, but you were not the first two-legged blips to pop from the combined minds of the giants.
Sparkly Rock Oh, you should have seen the others though. Dark clouds over their heads, some of them, wouldn’t smile for love nor tickling, swords in hand, beards full of grizzle. Bleh! Filthy, they were!
Sparkly Rock Oh, they didn’t last. There were more, too. Shouty ones, twitchy fingered short ones, they weren’t around for long, I’ll tell you that. I’ll tell you this, too…
Common Complaints of Beryl
Beryl Rock: If you think this is bad, you should have seen the place when Zille first invented chickens.
me: What was bad? What? Wait, Zille invented Chickens?!?
Beryl Rock: Zille invented EVERYTHING, may her almighty Zilleness show mercy to my very muttering of her name. She had a mind to create something, she said, more huggable than a rock, so she created these little beaked terrors. Bane of our lives, they were.
me: Don't like chickens?
Beryl Rock: Didn’t like the fact that Zille couldn’t see the point in wings. Or legs.
me: Hm...
Beryl Rock: So they just sat there, squawking and complaining, and pecking at the heels of anyone who was unfortunate enough to pass close by.
me: But they HAVE wings. And legs.
Beryl Rock: Only because Zille, may she smile kindly upon her gravel-brained servant, invented Humbaba and Cosma to do her bidding and get the little blighters moving.
me: That's...
Beryl Rock: Amazing, yes, all praise to her omnipotent and glorious Zilleness.
me: ...I was going to say odd. But ok.
---------------
This conversation is located at Ilmenskie Deeps - Devil Drape.
The Dramatic History of Dullite
Dullite Rock: Hey, psst. Who's winning?
Me: Huh?
Dullite Rock The era. Who’s winning the era?
Me: I don't really...
Dullite Rock Huh. I bet with my brother over there?
Me: Again, huh?
Dullite Rock About which giant will win the era? Ringing any bells? Oy, they don’t tell you anything, do they?
me: No?
Dullite Rock *Sigh*. Ok, so the core of the matter… Heh. Core? Like in geology? Heh. Anyway. Each Giant had their chance, each existed only one at a time, and had dominion for a whole age - some long, some short, whatever, everything’s short when you’re a rock. But however long, each giant failed to balance the world on their own. Some spectacularly.
Me: Oh?
Dullite Rock Mm. So now here we are. Twelfth era. Where one giant must prove their right to dominate the world and control the imaginations of the rest. FOR EVER MORE. Or something like that. That’s what I heard, anyway.
Me: So who's winning?
Dullite Rock That’s what I was asking you.
Me: Ah yes. Sorry. No Idea.
-------------
Conversation can be found in Ilmenskie Caverns - Level 4 East.
Piggy Tales Pig: Man, one time? On Recurse Eve? In the dying days of the thirteenth age of Pot…
me: Thirteenth?
Pig: Or nineteeth. Whatever. Whichever of those was the totally righteous one. In the dying days of THAT era, I heard the most dedicated of the Potians wiped out the entire world stock of hooch before the party was halfway done.
me: What Happened?
Pig: They had to break into the Giants' Private Cavern, and "borrow" their stash of Hell Wine.
me: Hell Wine?!?
Pig: Ya, dude. You know? From those crazy hellish grapes?
Me: The grapes, yeah. But I've never even seen hell wine...
Pig: You haven’t? Dude. Be grateful. That stuff is some bad, BAD vino.
Me: Gotcha.
------
Random piggy in somebodys street.