Topic

The Super Secret Glitchican Villains Society has arrived! ....and we want 50K. *cough*

Let me start off by saying Mwah hah hahhhhhhh. Now that I've got your attention here's our list of demands:

1. 50k

If these demands aren't met we will continue our campaign of rampant litterings. Like this one!

i.imgur.com/aerG0.png

Or maybe THIS ONE!

i.imgur.com/WxBfj.png

If within 24 hours we still aren't rolling in the bling, driving beamers and sipping the finest hooch WE WILL POISON 23 TREES!

...you've been warned.

Signed,
Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er
CEO of Mining and Mining Related Accessories and SUFFICIENTLY EVIL!

Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

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  • Co-Signed, 

    NutMeg Botwin

    (QUIT LEAVING ME OUT, FREEMAN. GAH.)
    Posted 18 months ago by NutMeg Botwin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • And.....we'll replant them.

    *shrug
    Posted 18 months ago by g33kgurrl Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Co-Signed,

    Samir von Doom
    Posted 18 months ago by Samir Subscriber! | Permalink
  • So that's why that dude grabbed up all the notes today!
    Posted 18 months ago by Nanookie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @g33kgurrl Mwah ha hah

    Signed,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Lol Freeman, you are my all time favorite Glitch.  You should be honored!

    EDIT: Besides my own Glitch, who is cuter and much more fashionable than yours.
    Posted 18 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Notes are great for projects, so thanks!
    Posted 18 months ago by glum pudding Subscriber! | Permalink
  • this is hilariously dastardly - i've got 2500 in on it.  bravo.
    Posted 18 months ago by BeatFreq Subscriber! | Permalink
  • rofl this is awesomely odd xD
    Posted 18 months ago by Ebil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Damn, I shouldn't have sold my paper to the vendor but cranked up the prices and put them on auction.
    Posted 18 months ago by FrankenPaula Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oh and whatever you do, don't litter the ground with any gems, that would be really really annoying, I hate diamonds!
    Posted 18 months ago by FrankenPaula Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Or drinks. I hate seeing pungent sunrises and flaming humbabas all over the place.
    Posted 18 months ago by Lelu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Lol @ Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er

    Nice screenshots :)
    Posted 18 months ago by Violet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • herbs? hate 'em. that sickly sweet odor...shudder. would be really awful to have to jump over hairballs all the time.
    Posted 18 months ago by Cupcake Subscriber! | Permalink
  • And you know what? Never EVER dare to send me hairballs by mail. THAT would mean war!
    Posted 18 months ago by Ximenez Subscriber! | Permalink
  • If you send me fireflies, barnacles or loam, I'll have to make you a pair of cement shoes.
    Posted 18 months ago by g33kgurrl Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm really rich & I'm really famous
    Posted 18 months ago by Taylor Swift Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Zachariah, wth? I used to like you, but after this post on EVERY post, I'm starting to wonder....
    Posted 18 months ago by NutMeg Botwin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This is probably not the place to do it, but I second NutMeg. Seriously.
    Posted 18 months ago by Millie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I like how the SSCVS litters so neatly.  It's adorable.
    Posted 18 months ago by Violet Faulds Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *cough*
    Posted 18 months ago by tweetypie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *cough* *cough* *cough*
    Posted 18 months ago by Ben Affleck Subscriber! | Permalink
  • yeah, was wondering the same thing, zachariah!? on the home page, you posted "why am I so funny & perfect?"
    Posted 18 months ago by Cupcake Subscriber! | Permalink
  • MWAH HA HAHHHHH,

    Well, shucks, I couldn't make it today and missed the 24 hour tree poisoning deadline. Hopefully my dastardly villainous but very polite cohorts stuck to phase one of our FIVE PHASE PROGRAM! Oh yes, there are more phases...four to be exact.

    ...you've... been.... warned.....

    Signed,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er

    P.S. We're currently accepting applications to the SSGVS. If you feel you're sufficiently villainous, nefarious and/or dastardly please take a screenshot of your evil deed and send me a link. If sufficiently evil and you had fun doing it you will be accepted into the most heinously evil society this side of Glitch.

    Have a wonderful day! :)
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow
    Posted 18 months ago by Spellbound Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "Wow" what, Spellbound? Are you in awe of Freeman? I do this from time to time myself...
    Posted 18 months ago by NutMeg Botwin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Smart I never thought to charge anyone for my being messy, clever idea and with a little direction from the mob you could almost be 
    Posted 18 months ago by xoxJulie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Everyone is forgetting the most important question before such a request can be filled: 50k what? Chickens? Piggies? Meat? Eggs? Grain? I might be able to get the chickens or you. You can squeeze them all you like and get grain to make the finest hooch. That wouldn't help with the bling or the beamers, but it's a third of the way to the final result.
    Posted 18 months ago by Little Miss Giggles Subscriber! | Permalink
  • 50k of pure fun
    Posted 18 months ago by xoxJulie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Whatever you do don't kill the spice trees! Oh wait, too late for that :(. 
    Posted 18 months ago by Viferno Subscriber! | Permalink
  • For some reason I can't get the Bad Horse Chorus out of my head.
    Posted 18 months ago by Yark Subscriber! | Permalink
  • oh I am in completely and utter adoration right now. Ur had too many rainbows and cute piggies.

    Oh, can i join if i organize a grand piggie kidnapping? We can take all the piggies from Groodle Meadows and deposit them into the deepest darkest caverns of the Deeps!
    Posted 18 months ago by Jackie Paper Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Jackie- I have an even more sinister idea- lets take them and put all the stolen piggies in...wait for it....my back yard! Mwahahaha... ;)
    Posted 18 months ago by NutMeg Botwin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ooo! Extra paper I can pick up off the ground, and trees I can plant!

    Thank you for existing Super Secret Glitchican Villian Society!
    Posted 18 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Mwah ha hahhh,

    Jackie, that is the most heinous, low down and utterly reprehensible suggestion I've ever heard!...AND I LIKE IT! We need villains with your moxie!

    Yes, Glitchizens, you heard correctly, there are now SIX PHASES of our dastardly master plan, we'll call the sixth phase a bonus phase so I don't have to rewrite my earlier post, thanks to Jackie "The Rook Whisperer" Paper! ( I can call you that, right? ) 

    Now what will you do, hmmmm? Huddle in a corner scared senseless most likely...oh yeah...I'm sure that's what you'll do...

    Your sinister friend,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The Thoroughbred of Sin popped into my mind as well.

    Hmm. Have you guys considered using copious quantities of sparkle powder and sneeze powder, as well as moving tons of pigs to well traveled streets? It might spawn lag and whining....

    Not sure if you guys are prepared to be that villainous though, because well, the littering is so....sidekickish.
    Posted 18 months ago by Murri Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @Murri How dare you, madame! ...and yes, we've thought of that, you just named two of our super secret SEVEN PHASE master plan! Yup, we just got one more phase, and you'll love this one during the next test...and by love I mean loathe-and-be-willing-to-pay-50k...to us...in non sequential units...

    Let me provide you a peek into our dastardly plan, as there appears to be quite a bit of speculation on the subject. The phases are designed to ramp up in villainery gradually although jumping to tree poisoning in the second phase may be a bit much...if they're spice trees!...of course, I'm just kidding...or am I? No, I'm not. I'm definitely not being insincere about my intention not to poison bean trees. Once again, so we're all clear on the subject, let me repeat myself, I would never poison a wood tree...although my villanous cohorts can't stand'em...or spice trees. I hope that clears that up.

    Oh and just so you know, phase 4 is ??? and phase 5 is profit!

    Mwah hah hah,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er

    P.S. If anyone has an idea for additional phases for our dastardly master plan please include it in your post. It may lead to the automatic acceptance of your SSGVS application! Some of these posts are solid gold!

    May you have a wonderful evening and wake up refreshed in the morning!
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Uhh...... how IS it secret now? Just curious...... argh, put the plank away!!!!!!!
    Posted 18 months ago by KitkatCat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Freeman, i dare say you are dialoguing. Isn't that a bad thing? lmao. :)
    Posted 18 months ago by Jackie Paper Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @Jackie "The Rook Whisperer" Paper

    Yeah, I guess I am dialoguing. Oops. Thanks, my nefarious friend. Let me get back on track *ahem*

    WE DEMAND 50K OR THE SPICE TREES MAY POSSIBLY GET IT! END OF DISCUSSION, THERE WILL BE NO NEGOTIATION!

    and

    LAURALI DOESN'T DRESS BETTER THAN ME, I'M QUITE FASHIONABLE, MINER'S HATS ARE THE IN THING THIS SEASON!

    That's better,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er

    P.S. Mwah ha hah! >:)
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Not only were you engaging in completely excess dialogue, you have managed to reveal your utter lack of organization.

    Ramping up properly, you aren't. Starting with littering is amateur, at least on the scale used by sensible and professional villains. Jumping immediately to killing things from littering is hardly a gradual increase of villainous activity, and shows a lack of imagination, or possibly a lack of standards.

    Try this:
    1:  Start with random splankings of citizens, if you must begin with something REALLY minor.
    2: Move on to repeated sneeze powder use and planting bean trees in EVERY patch you can find open. 
    3: Add the use of lots of sparkle powder to the splanking and sneeze powder attacks on random citizens.
    4: Follow with releasing excessive numbers of chickens in streets like the ones in the Heights and Alakol, where there are rocks to mine that they will constantly get in the way of.
    5: Remove all pigs from areas that have any mining, and drop them, in mass, in well traveled areas of the Meadow.
    6: Release huge numbers of butterflies anywhere you want to, preferably enough that they have sadness. This distresses people and will likely cause lag on those streets.
    7: Kill trees, but don't leave the patches empty in any location where you can plant beans.  Excessive bean trees annoy lots of people. 
    8: Move on to killing all of the bubble trees and replanting with beans. Escalate to gas, and then spice. Killing wood trees is unnecessary and pointless, given how fast they die anyway. Replanting with beans forces people to lose mood by killing a bean tree if they want to replant.

    And darling, miners hats are SO common and, well, laborer-ish.
    The whole point of such villainy is to have the financial luxury and general fear of your presence needed for a life of idle indulgence...

    It would be a good idea for you and your little cohorts to send along 30% of your profit from this scheme to myself. For the lessons, of course. And for insurance, because when you're doing this sort of thing it's very common for all sorts of accidents to happen.
    Posted 18 months ago by Murri Subscriber! | Permalink
  • oh i like Murri. Can we kidnap her and give her desk duty in our lair so we can get a proper amount of villainous scheme writing?

    speaking of which, i demand a lair already. all the other villains have them. Just not my place, hate to admit i don't trust anyone near my trees and piggies.
    Posted 18 months ago by Jackie Paper Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Next rook attack, make no attempt to revive animals. Nibble piggies till they can't be nibbled anymore (without feeding anyway), as that irks A LOT of people. Leave broken tools on a busy street. Hatch butterflies to create a sad butterfly street. Mob harvest a tree so theres nothing left on em for others to harvest. See, theres loads of villainous things to do ingame. In the meanwhile, spam the auctions with over priced beans and peat. If you were to use any of these methods, I demand 10% of whatever you might get for a trade off to not annoying everyone, or I shall hunt you down, and splank you to death, repeatedly. You have been warned. 
    PS: Spice tree poisoning? That's low. You know what's lower? Hogging all the rocks in the Caverns and the Deeps. Now that I think of it, it IS lower. After all, they are below ground level.
    Posted 18 months ago by KitkatCat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1 to villainy!
    Posted 18 months ago by Moonspoon Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Did you get your money? If not did you do phase 1? If not you're just super-villain wanna-bes.
    Posted 18 months ago by FrankenPaula Subscriber! | Permalink
  • that cough sounds bad
    Posted 18 months ago by snygyst Subscriber! | Permalink
  • i find it heavily amusing on how secretly evil so many Glitchers truly are. Sad butterfly streets? LMAO. The black heart of villainy loves nothing more than melancholy Lepidoptera.

    This also reminds me that the butterfly page on the wiki definitely needs to be updated since it lists over-crowding to be more than 5 butterflies per street which we all know is untrue. Ix's 7 streets combined have over 100 butterflies amongst them! That's an average of 14.2857 quite content holometabolic organisms.

    (not to mention 99 chickens and only 6 little piggies! odd.)
    Posted 18 months ago by Jackie Paper Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I <3 Murrri....she reminds me of Edna Mode..."NO CAPES!" hehe......

    And I LOL'd at Snygyst.......

    *passes Freeman some evil cough drops* 
    Posted 18 months ago by NutMeg Botwin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • MWAH HAH HAH,

    I guess it can't be helped, more dialoguing...*sigh* Let's go through these SSGVS applications one at a time, shall we? ;)

    @Murri Mwah hah hah! Is that your SSGVS application? Needs a little work. I can appreciate your self confidence but we're trying to make money, not send it away.

    ...It seems like we were quite clear on the subject...

    Anywho, I would consider your application into the SSGVS but your post was a little...uh... rude...it hurt me a little bit..a couple tears started to well up in my eyes...I'M SERIOUS... The way you talked about my miner's hat...and lack of organization...*sniff*...that's beyond sufficiently evil...you're just a meanie...a big meanie...*pouts*

    Still, your ideas intrigue me...mainly because they were already in our plan. I'm not kidding, I guess evil minds think alike. #3 and #8 were concerns of mine, primarily as we're not here to grief so those ideas were great. Thanks, my craven compadre! About organization, you repeated yourself quite a bit in your eight point plan. Ah hah! If you would like to join the SSGVS, and you should as we're the most evil society this side of Glitch, first and foremost you're going to have to stop trying to extort money from us...sorry, them's the rules. Second, you're going to have to do the unthinkable...litter. I know you can do it. Send me an IM next game, we've got a lot to discuss. ;)

    @KitKatCat I like your ideas but I was quite clear on tree poisonings in my earlier post...Wasn't I? I'm not sure what you're talking about hogging rocks but you just gave me a great idea about the location of a super secret lair free from random Rook attacks, who, by the way, is a great bird! Real salt of the earth type and rarely claws his friends! You'll like'im!

    @FrankenPaula Sorry if we couldn't sow more despair and disarray before we finished the last test but we just formed the SSGVS...Patience, my ignoble friend, patience....We did start phase 1...It's littering!...Take that, environmentalists! None of that was biodegradable! Mwah ha HAHHHHHHH!

    @ Nutmeg and Snygyst Thanks for the cough drops...The evil laugh can really start to irritate the throat...*cough*...Anyone got some Robitussin?...*cough hack sputter* ...but only if it was stolen from an orphan...gotta keep up appearances, you know....*cough hack wheeze gargle*

    I had to laugh at all of this creative writing. Thanks, Glitchizens, many of you write sufficiently evil but as we know forum posts are cheap. Keep in mind, though, that the G in the SSGVS doesn't stand for griefing, keep it nefarious! Now get out there during the next test and do something dastardly! ( and take plenty of screenshots, of course! )

    (Dis)Cordially,
    Freeman McTavish the Eviler'er
    Posted 18 months ago by Freeman Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1,000,000 for all the Doctor Horrible references.
    Posted 18 months ago by jasbo Subscriber! | Permalink
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