It seems I forgot to log out of the game this morning before I went to work. I came home to find that my glitch's health had gone down to below 50 twice (but she hadn't died!) and that a number of useful new items had shown up in her bags during my long time afk.
To anyone who gave my sleeping glitch a friendly health or mood buff as you passed her in the street, and to all those who gave her gifts during the day: Thank you! <3