Topic

Crazy Made Up Rumors About Next Test (for entertainment use only)

Make up something up.

• They've added alarms and LoJack tracking devices to machines.
• Jumping now costs credits.
• Rube is now a playable character.
• Glitches can now have babies.
• Pigs are now ridable.
• There are now Nut Trees but nuts can only be carried in special sacks. You can guess what they are called.

Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • (A quick digression and analyzing of the differences between the two jokes and then I ask people to please respect the thread subject.

    Obviously, the popularization of the phrase "That's what she said" comes from The Office. On of the reasons it is funny is because Michael Scott doesn't quite understand that (1) he over uses it and (2) that it is inappropriate in most situations. He is childlike and only half gets most jokes.

     "...and so did her friend who was also a slut" is something Dwight would say. I may be wrong, but that may be a direct quote. It is funny, in the context of The Office because Dwight lacks ANY understanding of humor. He breaks things down so far far into its core elements that they lose ALL subtlety but would say something like that to appease Michael. Dwight lacks ANY idea of what is appropriate.

    But any joke about slut shaming and misogyny walks a fine fine line.

    Why do I think about these things? Because I spend my days and nights doing it. If you are in NYC, you can see me perform long form improv with my team Thank You, Robot. For more info, see my profile. See? I worked in a plug.

    Now back to your regularly scheduled thread.)
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • A new feature will be implemented in the forums whereby all unpleasant posters will be force fed butterfly milk until either a) Their mood improves or b) they turn into Foie Glitchers and can be eaten by other Glitches as a delicacy which grants very high energy yield. 
    Posted 19 months ago by Divine~ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ah, LBo.... if I still lived in Manhattan, I would totally come see your show!!
    Posted 19 months ago by Pirate Apples Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Foie Glitchers!!!  ROTHLMBO!!!!
    Posted 19 months ago by Pirate Apples Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Bacon-o is now a minable resource. He can be mined for quotes. These quotes can be transferred to paper, and notes are now able to be combined into books via the Bookbinding skill, an offshoot of Penpersonship. This may also result in bookstores, and/or the ability to purchase your Very Own Copy of When Alph Imagined Time.
    Posted 19 months ago by Jennyanydots Subscriber! | Permalink
  • A feature will be added where older Glitchers will be given a head start in races and real estate sales :)
    Posted 19 months ago by MisAdventure Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Someone lost the master map, and now all the streets and regions have been changed. 
    Posted 19 months ago by 1padme Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Dissappointed that the stoot filter is not yet in place. All this talk of sluts.... I'd rather talk about stoots.
    Posted 19 months ago by Tricky Woo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • • Every time you open and close the map, you must play a map folding minigame.
    • My Glitch has the ability to blush.
    • They introduced a detailed backstory penned by Alan Moore. He is already angry at how it was implemented and has removed his name.
    • Sneezing powder is now the only way to get beans.
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • oooh Middle Aged, I like that :D
    Posted 19 months ago by PittyPat is sad Subscriber! | Permalink
  • these are awesome. didn't read them all (too many), so I apologize if these have already been added,

    - maxing the unlearning skill takes you back to the beginning of the game
    - mail delivery froggies get confused and start transporting the male players around.
    - Hell 2 is now open for no-no addicts and those trying to find the tower secrets
    - drinking too much causes your Glitch to stumble
    - anyone who uses sneezing powder at parties or projects goes to hell and has to stay there for at least 1 real world hour (oops sorry- wishful thinking)
    Posted 19 months ago by bored no more Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * You can make blow powder
    * Using it blows all fruit and beans from the trees in your location
    * You get a rainbow with "job well done" if you manage to hit more that 3 trees at a time
    Posted 19 months ago by Tricky Woo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The piggies are now going to be handing out veggie burgers.
    Posted 19 months ago by Riverwalker Subscriber! | Permalink
  • • Jetpacks.
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • - ninjas
    Posted 19 months ago by bored no more Subscriber! | Permalink
  • squeezing the female and milking the male players will reward you with a random item from their bags and occasionally with pooh
    Posted 19 months ago by zizila Subscriber! | Permalink
  • -Chuck Norris.
    Posted 19 months ago by That Kid Tyler Subscriber! | Permalink
  • • Ninjas in jetpacks
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • One word: ZOMBIES!
    Posted 19 months ago by Meezley Subscriber! | Permalink
  • with flamethrowers

    *pounds on door* C'mon already!
    Posted 19 months ago by bored no more Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Effective immediately, all sucky keyboard players, ahem like me, will be given a 5 minute head start on the Amazing Race so they can FINALLY finish that dang quest!
    Posted 19 months ago by GreyGoose Subscriber! | Permalink
  • snow and heavy rain and leaves and too much sun which would stop the tube

    swine flu

    KFC

    rubbish weather
    Posted 19 months ago by zizila Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * God turns out to be Chuck Norris riding a Ninja pigasus throwing frogs with jetpacks at any player wearing a codpiece or snorting no-no. 
    Posted 19 months ago by Tricky Woo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Zombie Ninjas in jetpacks with flamethrowers!
    Posted 19 months ago by Miss Muffett Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Good one tricky woo... :)
    Posted 19 months ago by Miss Muffett Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * Every seventh player can not choose their username but will be known as Kevin Bacon001, Kevin Bacon 002 etc.
    Posted 19 months ago by Tricky Woo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Stoot! I forgot the flamethrowing zombies Miss Muffett :-(
    Posted 19 months ago by Tricky Woo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Printable sandwich boards become the dress of choice but will only flash messages from GOD as novel in-game addits become available.
    Posted 19 months ago by Poney Tails Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ninja pirate robot zombies. With jetpack surfboards. Drinking Flaming Humbabas.
    Posted 19 months ago by Lelu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • • Yes-yes powder and Maybe-maybe powder
    • Getting super angry in the game and going on a rampage is now officially know as "Going yoga"
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • All players can now be massaged and milked.  Extra XP points for milking kevbob.  Milking stoot gives a bottle of raspberry-flavored milk.  When you drink it, it's sweet, but everything you type appears as "maybe" or "soon."

    *duck*
    Posted 19 months ago by glum pudding Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *laughs at glum pudding's suggestion*

    New Achievement:  (building on other suggestions) Permanent Zombie.  Occurs when you die 252 times.  Comes back from Hell looking as your normal avatar, only zombiefied.  No clothing or other vanity changes allowed after this point.  Must find brains to survive.  Unfortunately, nothing in the game currently yields brains as a byproduct.
    Posted 19 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Easter egg for the game:  typing bacon, stoot or attempting to address GOD in any chat window turns everything upside down and enables gravity.  Users must figure out how to keep from falling from the ground (which is now at the top of the screen)
    Posted 19 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Dev Milking > Dev Jumping!  :)  
    Posted 19 months ago by Lelu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • • It is opening in threeeee......
    ....twooooo.....
    .....oooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeee.....
    ........aaaaaaaaaa
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • ............nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn............
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *sitting and waiting*
    Posted 19 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • ... is cancelled.
    Posted 19 months ago by RealJimBob Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * Everyone is given admin privileges, the devs get them taken away. The world shortly implodes.
    Posted 19 months ago by Hburger Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *quietly plode-ing*
    Posted 19 months ago by Jennyanydots Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Everyone gets those admin privledges except Lord Bacon-o.  He still gets persecuted by all of us *who are now all named GOD*
    Posted 19 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • All houses in Aloko are being reduced to 8,000 currants. 

    This is to prevent the appearance of elitism...
    Posted 19 months ago by MeherMan Subscriber! | Permalink
  • ..............dddddddddddddddddddd.............
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * Due to rampant inflation, all currant holdings will be decimated. Players will start with 10% of their previous holdings, or 500 currants, whichever is greater.
    Posted 19 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • GOD will now be known as **** to ensure that Glitch remains politically correct.
    Posted 19 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • (I was sure that was gonna work.)
    Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • It was a nice thought Bacon-o.  I was hoping it would work too....
    Posted 19 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The game will be free (except for the charges made in the fine description).
    Posted 19 months ago by Skye Logic Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * The Impossible Achievement is no longer impossible. But you don't want to know what you have to do to get it.
    Posted 19 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Rather than using lotion to massage butterflies, everyone must now use a kazoo to attract them, similar to fireflies.  Also, the beautiful new kazoo music plays for everyone on the street.
    Posted 19 months ago by Merek Subscriber! | Permalink