Inspired by what I'm going to refer to as the trombone thread.
If you happen to be carrying your strand of pearls when someone in your area uses "language", you automatically clutch your pearls. You lose 5 energy, gain 10 mood, and are surrounded by a Halo of Smug Righteousness for 10 full (real-time) minutes. During those 10 minutes, all uses of "language" will be somehow obfuscated in all of your chats to protect your delicate sensibilities.
Once this has happened 23 times, you gain the WHAT ABOUT THE CHILDREN? achievement badge, which indicates that you have mastered the fine art of concern trolling.
Should you attempt to use "language" yourself while carrying your pearls, you lose 1 mood every 10 seconds for 5 full minutes, which is indicated by a Hypocritical Shame buff meter.