Topic

When Alph Imagined Time: A Story of the Calendar (completed & available for download)

EDIT: Here is a much easier to read and proofread PDF copy downloadable via Media Fire. LINK.

[As a silly silly side project, I've been making up an 'astrological' chart for the world of Glitch. Due to the curious nature of the Glitch calendar and the placement of certain holidays, it has gotten a bit wonky and complicated. This is fine. Astrology should be a bit wonky and complicated. In my head, I began to come up with justifications for some of the choices I was making. And then it started to become a story so I started to write it down. Since it looks like we'll have a relatively long break between tests right now, seems like a good time to start posting it.]


Table of Contents:

PART ONE
PART THE SECOND
PART THE SECOND POINT FIVE
PART TRES
PART GO FORTH 
PART A FIFTH OF HOOTCH
PART FIVE SUBSET B
PART LEONARD PART SIX
PART SE7EN
PART HENRY THE EIGHTH
PART MINER FORTY-NINER
PART X, the first
PART X, the second
PART X, the last aside
PART ELEVENTY


PART ONE
in which Alph imagines something and other Giants figure out what to do with it
     Some time after the Giants imagined existence, a thought occurred to Alph. “We don’t even know how much ‘some time’ it has been since we imagined existence because we haven’t imagined ‘time’ yet! Hell, can we even have existence without time?” (Interestingly, when (if there was even a 'when' if they didn't have time) Alph thought this, ‘Hell’ had not been imagined yet. That is another story however.)     So Alph gathered together the other Giants and said, “I’m going to imagine something so that we can keep track of how long something has been and how long it will be until the next thing.”
    “What do you mean by ‘how long’?” asked Mab.
    “What do you mean by ‘has been’?” asked Spriggan.
    “What do mean by ‘until’?” asked Humbaba.
    “What do you mean by ‘something’?” asked Cosma, who was a bit slow on the uptake but still wanted to sound like she had been paying attention.
    “Look,” exclaimed Alph, “this will make more sense if I just do it, okay?”
    “What do you mean by ‘will’?” the ten Giants asked in unison.
    “Time!” yelled Alph. And then he imagined time. “Boom. There it is. Deal with it.”
    “Ooooooooo,” said all of the Giants (except Cosma who had become distracted by a slight breeze).
    Now, Alph enjoys the whole fun of creating things but rapidly gets bored with everything that comes after. So he wandered off to get on with the business of imagining, leaving time sitting there in front of the other ten Giants.
    They all looked at time and then looked at each other. This lasted awhile, in part because they weren’t sure what to do with this new thing and in part because they just enjoyed the experience of having an ‘awhile’ for the first... um... time.
    Eventually, Tii gave a small ahem. “It appears to me that time is tricky business. I’m not sure how much of it we have. It may be infinite. It might be finite. Or It might be both. Or neither. That is the nature of these sorts of things. But in the name of fairness, we should break it up into pieces so that we can share it equally.” And with that Tii cut up time in years and years into months and months into days. (Only later were days separted into hours and hours into minutes and minutes into seconds. Again, a whole other story.)
    Tii continued, “I have broken time into years so it is manageable. And I broke each year into eleven months, because there are eleven Giants. And each month I’ve broken into days because months are still too big to carry in a bag.” Pot smiled at this because bags were his idea. “I made three hundred and seven days because that is a nice prime number. Each month has a different number days since having each month with an equal amount of days would be, well, boring. So now we should just decide which of us gets which month.”
    The Giants began roll the problem round in their big giant heads. Friendly, always one to peer through murk and see to the heart of a situation, rolled the problem quicker but with more care than the others. “Tell me,” he said to Tii. “I see that one month has three days and one month has seventy-three days and all the other months have a different number days in between three and seventy-three, correct?”
    “Yes,” Tii beamed. “And all of them fine, good prime numbers.”
    “Yes, yes. Very nice,” consented Friendly. “But if we split it straight by months, some Giants will get many days and some Giants will get very few. That does not seem very fair, now does it?”
     All the Giants looked to each other, unsure of whether it was fair or not. You see, the whole idea of fairness was a very new one. In fact, not much old than time. If such things had existed yet, fairness would have been created on Twoday and time was created on the very next Hairday. But they didn’t exist, so we are talking metaphor. (Of course, ‘metaphor’ wasn’t created for another week and a half, metaphorically.) With all of this in mind, the Giants were not sure what to do.
    Finally, Friendly spoke again. “The fairest thing would be to split the days evenly. Tii, how many days would each of us get?”
    It took Tii no time at all to figure it out. “Twenty-nine point nine zero nine zero nine zero nine zero nine zero nine–”
    “Good enough,” interrupted Friendly.
    “It keeps going,” said Tii. “Quite fascinating.”
    “This may all be fascinating to some,” snapped Grendline, “but that number seems like a very difficult one to deal with. Especially for those of us who are still confused by what numbers are in the first place.”
     Friendly said, “Then we shall make it simpler. We’ll each get twenty-seven days. Alph can have the first twenty-seven since it was his idea and all. And then, in turn, we can each have twenty-seven days, until the year is all gone and we start a new one. That seems fair, yes?”
    All the Giants nodded enthusiastically as Friendly’s idea seemed to exactly fit the very idea of fairness, as well as they understood it. 
    “Who shall get the twenty-seven days after Alph?” asked Zille who rarely spoke up unless it seemed like the obvious next thing to say.
    “Oh, we have twenty-seven days to figure that out,” said Friendly with a smile. “If I understand this whole time thing, that will be plenty.”
    And with that, eight of the Giants went off to imagine new things to fill the world. Only Friendly and Tii remained. Tii raised a tentacle (which, being wrapped around his/her/its central eye, was as close to an eyebrow raise Tii could get) and said, “Your plan sounds fair except for one thing. When all is done, there will still be ten days left over. What will become of them?”
    Friendly made something with his face and mouth and eyes that may have been a knowing smirk. Perhaps it was something different. “Something tells me that, in the end, it will all sort itself out. Yes, I believe it will.”
    Tii was not sure what Friendly meant or what the look on his face meant, but nodded as that seemed like the simplest thing to do.

[to be continued]

Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • Enjoying reading this a lot :) 

    Very inspiring. Thanks for sharing and please keep it up!
    Posted 18 months ago by Ann-Mi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ah, this is brilliant M'Lord - looking forward to the next instalment :D
    Posted 18 months ago by Ama Gad Subscriber! | Permalink
  • A most enjoyable read!  Looking forward to more.  Thank you Lord B for writing/sharing.
    Posted 18 months ago by welshcorgi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oh, absolutely lovely! I nominate Lord Bacon-o for Ur's National Author Laureate!
    Posted 18 months ago by Lilith Subscriber! | Permalink
  • /bump
    Posted 18 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I loved reading this :) Thanks Lord Bacon-o
    Posted 18 months ago by Araldia Subscriber! | Permalink
  • PART SE7EN
    in which there is a theft and some floops and a trade
         With time back in his possession (which, yet again, was a much easier to get than he had expected), Lem had (yet again) some thinking to do.
         He carried time to the desert lands where the Giants had first begun imagining the world. Lem understood paths and travel and how to find one’s way from one place to another. But for the last (um, “first”) one hundred and seventy-six days or so, he had found himself lost. Not due to where he was. Lem always knew where he was. But he wasn’t sure where he wanted to go or how to get there. “Go back to the where you started,” he thought to himself.
         He placed time in the sand and stepped back to look at it. It seemed so innocuous, just sitting there. You almost didn’t notice it ticking away. This little thing, so ephemeral and slight, and yet.... Time was everything, Lem was beginning to understand.
         Since the moment Alph had first introduced it, Lem had been driven by jealously and the desire to make it his own. All that had come of that was to lead him astray. Perhaps it wasn’t important who invented time. The other Giants didn't seem concerned with that at all. They had taken time and not given it much thought. At the same time, they had used time to connect with each of their specific interests and talents. Spriggan had given time to the trees so they could grow and ripen their fruit. Grendaline had created the tides with their regular ebb and flow.
            Maybe he should not think of how to go against time and how to manipulate it, but instead think of how to work with it. Since time had been introduced to the world, he noticed to get from one place to another took a certain amount of time. Even moving a short distance spent time. He could move quicker or slower, but time was always used. If there was a way to move without using anytime at all, that would leave more time for everyone.
        He wondered what Cosma had done when she had time and suddenly breathed in sharply.
        Thinking of Cosma made Lem shudder. He had yet to see her since that day of sneezing and sleeping. He felt the dark beating at the back of his mind cast a shadow across his mood. He remembered the fear of that moment, Cosma’s fear and his own. And the fear when he woke up and could not find where all the time had gone.
        Now, Lem had matured in recent days, but that does not mean he was perfect. He had his petty elements (as we all do). And sometimes unkind thoughts pop up even when we know better. Even though he was deeply regretful of his actions and even though he knew no blame lay with Cosma, an ugly part of him thought, “None of this would have happened if she hadn’t stolen time from me.” Which was in no way true, but thoughts and emotions often care little of truth.
           He felt this thought pop up and he then quickly tamped it down. He thought of pretty colors to fight back the dark and he thought of sweetness to counter the bitter taste in his mouth. But the thought was there and surprisingly strong and became mixed up with his attempts to chase it away. Possibly, being in the desert influenced the form it took (if you added an extra ‘s’).
         Lem heard a ‘floop’ sound behind him. Turning around, he saw a shiny purplish being sitting in the sand. It blinked a few times. “Oof,” it said. As it stood up on short legs and it brushed sand from its rear, its cylindrical body jiggled slightly. “So,” the thing said, “who are you?”
          Lem said, “I’m Lem.”
        “What’s a Lem?” it asked, looking around, taking in the flat landscape.
        “Well, a Giant, of course. You should know about the Giants.”
         “Giants? You don’t look all that big. Seems like someone is putting on some airs.” The purple thing picked at its behind as if perhaps it had gotten some sand stuck somewhere. “What makes you so special?”
         “We Giants created everything around you. In fact, I think I may have created you.”
         The thing scoffed. “Oh, I doubt it. And even if you did, you aren’t my boss.”
         “I never said I was. But a bit of respect seems—”
         “Respect? Ha! I’ll show you respect!” And with that the purple creature dashed forward, snatched time from where it sat, and began running away.
         Lem stood in shock for three beats of his eyes. And then he shouted, “Hey!” and took off after fleeing the purple being.
         “Stop!” Lem shouted.
          “Wait!” he implored.
          “You can’t do that!” he exclaimed.
          “That’s not yours!” he cried.
          “Stuff it!” it shouted back at him.
          “You smell of stinky cheese!” it mocked.
          “Bite my candy butt!” it laughed.
          “Finders keepers, losers weepers!” it sang.
         Lem chased and chased and the thing ran and ran. Across the desert, they flew. No matter how fast Lem moved, he could not close the gab between them.
          “I don’t have time for this!” Lem despaired. “If only I didn’t have to use time to travel. If I could ignore time, I could easily catch it.”
         Just as Lem thought it, it happened. With a large ‘floop,’ Lem was no longer where he had been. In the same instance, there was another ‘floop’ right in front of the fleeing creature. And with a shmlack, the thing ran right into Lem, who’d just appeared dead in its path. The thing fell on its rear, sending time flying into the air. Lem had a sudden memory of time falling from him and Cosma. With another ‘floop, floop’, Lem moved right under time and caught it. Lem smiled broadly and ‘flooped’ yet again and was gone.
         The purple thing bhahed to no one in particular. “Well, that seemed entirely unfair. Giants! What jerks.” It slowly got up and went off to find other things to steal. 

         Lem was filled with joy for the first time that he could remember. He flooped back and forth, from one corner or Ur to the other. Floop, floop, floop. He laughed and flooped and laughed some more. He found that he was using very little time at all. He flooped into a gathering of pigs, yelled “Floop!” and flooped away, leaving them blinking in shock.
         Floop, floop, floop.
         Eventually Lem found he was pooped from flooping and rested on the cliffs of Alakol, looking out on the oceans. He looked at time and realized he’d been flooping for days. “I’m exhausted,” he thought. “Flooping is great, but it sure uses a lot of energy. I’m famished.”
         He slowly got up and went to look for something to eat. 

         Lem found Mab in her garden, surrounded by crops and food. She was looking over a large metal cylinder that sat above a small fire. Lem watched as she tossed in beans and meat and potatoes and onions and parsnips and cabbage and sprinkled saffron in careful pinches. Without saying a word, she offered a spoon of the mixture to Lem.
        “Mmmmm, that’s delicious, Mab! I’m in awe.” He felt a bit of his energy come surging back.
        “I’m glad to hear that, Lem. I’ve been working hard, as I always do. Never seems enough time to get everything done.”
        “I know the feeling. What is that metal thing you made it in?”
        “Ah, yes. I haven’t named it yet.”
        “Well, it is full sure some awe inducing food. And its roundness reminds me of Pot.”
        “Interesting.” Mab looked closely at Lem. “You look awfully tired.”
        “Well, I’m been flooping. You see I have time right now—”
        “Oh! Yes!” she said, eyeing time with envy. “I’ve been meaning to take my turn.”
        “I’ve had it a few times now, but only a few day at a stretch.”
        “So you haven’t used your twenty-seven days yet?”
       Lem said, “Not yet.” He did some calculations in his head. “In fact, I believe I still have ten days left. I’m just now getting the hang of it, I think. But I find I have tired myself out so I’ve come for some food. That awe food—”  
         “Stew,” Mab corrected. “It’s a stew.”
         “Okay. That awe stew seems to hit the spot. You wouldn’t mind if I took some, would you?”
         Mab thought for a second. “I don’t know,” she said carefully. “I’ve spent a lot of time making this.”
         “But you have so much.”
         “Sure. And you have none. Would it be fair if you just took it and I got nothing in return?”
         Lem winced at the mention of ‘fair.’ It seems like all of his problems originated from this whole ‘fairness’ thing.
         “I don’t really have anything to give you. I could teach you to floop.”
         Mab shook her head. “No. That sounds dirty. You do have one thing I’d like....”
        Lem saw it coming from a mile away. “Time. You want time.”
        “As you said, you’ve been using it in bits and pieces already. And right now, you’re too tired to use it at all. I’ll give you all of this stew in trade.”
        Lem sighed, too exhausted to fight the flow of events. “Will you give it back at the end your twenty-seven days? So I can finish mine?”
        Mab grinned, licking her lips. “Yes! Of course.”
        “Here it is,” said Lem.
        “And here’s your stew. Enjoy.”
        “You too,” said Lem. “Just... well, be careful with it, okay? I can’t say I understand time yet but I’ve grown quite attached to it.”
         “Don’t worry so much, Lem. What could go wrong?”
         Lem just sighed again as he slowly slurped the stew.

    [to be continued]
    Posted 18 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hey, thank you everyone for the kind kind words. While I am certainly doing it for my own personal enjoyment, it is always so nice to get lovely feedback.
    Posted 18 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hi Bacon-o, I really like how this is going!  Wish I could floop a bit IRL....
    Posted 18 months ago by Lelu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm in total awe. I just read all of it and I simply can't wait for the next part!
    I'm rather a Cosma myself, but there's a lot of Lem in all of us :)
    Posted 18 months ago by Zira Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Love it, great job +10 :)
    Posted 18 months ago by xoxJulie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • hehehe love the new addition keep it coming it is all so much fun to read and get to know each Giant a bit more and the overall effect of the mix of emotions and humor is all very Glitching
    Posted 18 months ago by Karma Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I just started reading it today and I've finished what you have written so far and I'm ready for "more please" :)
    Posted 18 months ago by PittyPat is sad Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm thinking the devs need to hire LBO as a writer.
    Posted 18 months ago by jasbo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • /bump
    Posted 18 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • More please :)
    Posted 18 months ago by Zira Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Love the way your mind words Lord!!!!Well done and so so so creative!
    Posted 18 months ago by AlmostSilver Subscriber! | Permalink
  • It's awesome! Love the flooping part.
    Posted 18 months ago by KitkatCat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • /bumpitybump
    Posted 17 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ack. 11 days since last?! Sorry about that. I will try to get one done this weekend.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Floop!
    Posted 17 months ago by Piece of Serenity Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Super slacking on this. You know, actual life an tests and life and my writing for work and the like gets in the way. And sometimes its hard to get started without some game hooks that I can poke fun at.

    BUT seeing how much was added/tweaked this game, I have plenty of color to add to the story. So something this weekend will go up.

    (And seeing as time was last in the hands of Mab, it's not surprising it has taken me more time to get to it. Maybe I should have used guano...)
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Some of you have written some brilliant fan-fiction on the forums and I've been asked to feature a section devoted to this on Glitch Addict. If anyone is interested in having their fabulous stories featured on the web page please give me a shout or email me at morticia@glitchaddict.com - thanks!! x
    Posted 17 months ago by Morticia Addams Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LBO, I have been avoiding this thread for a long time. 
    Something about computer screens and the wall of text...Maybe some advance envy because I had a feeling it was going to be really good (not that I am a writer, but I do like to read me some writing).

    It is really really good.  
    Posted 17 months ago by Nanookie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thanks for the great story, Lord Bacon-o
    Posted 17 months ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LOL! Wow. The style of this--especially the first couple parts--reminds me of Terry Pratchett and Douglas Adams. Love it! There needs to be tons more "scripture" :)
    Posted 17 months ago by Arii Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Love it! More Please!
    Posted 17 months ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Arii, it should not come to any surprise to anyone that I'm a fan of both. (And toss in a bunch of Neil Gaiman.)

    I haven't actually reread these myself until today. And, to be honest, I posted most of them is only the most casual proofread. I'm going over them today and cleaning up some issues before I post the next one.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Maybe some of these should go on the bulletin boards in Gregarious towers etc.
    Posted 17 months ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Well, at this point it is rapidly becoming less and less accurate (or possibly accurate). From animal/plant/rock talk, as unreliable as it is, it appears that the Giants DID create the world separately at separate times. Hard to make it "fit" at this point. ("It's a metaphor" is my excuse.)

    I didn't pay a WHOLE lot of attention to the dialogue this round (on purpose). I'm waiting for the reset/launch to try to experience the backstory in a more complete/set form.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Well, maybe it's sort of an apocryphal text..... What fun is religion without apocrypha?
    Posted 17 months ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1 awesome apocrypha
    Posted 17 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • /bump

    Moar?
    Posted 16 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I can imagine from here, but its not the same as reading. 
    Posted 16 months ago by KitkatCat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1000

    I really love a good, imaginative piece of writing :)
    Posted 16 months ago by onizuka83 Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I completely, totally, utterly love this. When it's finished I would like to write ballads based on it. We have to have some bards round here to share our myths and legends in song, right? :)
    Posted 15 months ago by Theremina Lute Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I cannot believe I missed this until now.  Thanks for the bump Theremina Lute.

    This is a wonderful story that must be the first story in the Glitchen Library or the Glichen Historical Society.

    Lord Bacon-o, you have given such charming personalities and quirks to each of the giants we met.  And what a human character Lem is.  Thank you very much.
    Posted 15 months ago by Kookaburra Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Just read every bit of this thread at once. Love it. Thanks! I need to post this part on my wall:

    " All of this was incredibly interesting to Lem but he was unsure if it was at all helpful. The more he secretly watched, the more anxious he got. Let me see if I can explain how he felt. Have you ever been really excited to participate in something but know that you can’t? Like there was a place you’d like to go and you spend your days constantly checking that place but every time you do you are met with a sign that says “We’re currently closed”? And you knew that the sign would say that but you keep checking anyway? No? Never felt that way? Well, anyway, Lem felt like that."

    I'm feeling "Lem-ish" right now!
    Posted 15 months ago by Gertie Mack Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LBO, this is fantastic! I love every bit of it!  :D
    Posted 15 months ago by CoffeeSnob Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *waits for the next part with chin on fists, eyes big*
    Posted 15 months ago by Radasha Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Again, thank you for the kind words.

    It's been a long time since I've added to it. Chalk that up to life getting in the way. Heck, I haven't even really been able to get in solid Glitch playing time without needing to, at a moments notice, log off.

    Also the problem that I wrote myself into a bit of a hole, character arc-wise and structure-wise. (Lem's realization of his obsession coming earlier than I planned and me not having anything really planned, story-wise, until the week of Doom.)

    But I will finish it and soon.
    Posted 15 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My god, you're brilliant. This is great writing, clever and funny and apt. I can't wait to see more! And when we have our bookbinding skill (I hope! I hope!) I envision printing up and distributing copies of When Alph Imagined Time throughout the land. 

    I see that you've commented here that this mythos doesn't fit now with the hints dropped to us by the game about how the world was created, but you capture so perfectly the flavor of the game, integrating so many of the small details that make Glitch unique, that I feel this still stands very well as some form of canon. Maybe it is metaphor, or a pre-history that was forgotten and overwritten by later imaginings, or an overly ambitious Alphian priest's speculative attempts to explain the calendar centuries ago. But it really needs no explanation or justification - it just fits so perfectly into the feeling of the game.
    Posted 15 months ago by Meridian Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I just finished rereading your wonderful tale LBo and I still think it is perfect.  If it doesn't match perfectly with other bits of Glitch history that makes it even more perfect.  Since everyones perception of what is or has been is different (e.g. witnesses at an accident scene) your views fit in perfectly.  I was looking forward to the continuation of your tale with some trepidation regarding the rooks, they are so ruthless.  I hope you have time to continue the Giants history of Glitch. :) 
    Posted 15 months ago by xoxJulie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I hereby unlock this thread, so the saga may be continued!
    Posted 14 months ago by Blanky Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ack! I fully appreciate that Blanky.

    Man, now I need to write a new chapter and soon. I have two plane flights this weekend. Hopefully I can then.
    Posted 14 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *smooches Blankly* Thank you SO much for unlocking LBO's fantastical imaginings! And, LBO, while we love your writings, I hope you continue when you are in the mood and feel inspired. Please do not put yourself under undo pressure. Your fans will keep this thread open. *marks November 19 in tickle file*
    Posted 14 months ago by GreyGoose Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Finally, I can comment on this wonderful piece of imaginative writing! Thanks, Blanky!

    I stumbled upon this a couple of weeks back, and the whole series is so well imagined and lucidly told. It certainly adds a whole lot more background to Ur, even if it is just an "unofficial" one. So thanks, LBO, for writing this and congratulations for a tale well told. Can't wait for the next instalment (not that there's any pressure...).
    Posted 14 months ago by Wein Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oh so glad this is unlocked and Bacon-o is thinking of adding more! I need to know what happens next! :-)
    Posted 14 months ago by KrisModem Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Enjoyed  this so much I totally lost track of time!

    Can't wait to read more *applauds*
    Posted 14 months ago by WeavingTheWeb Subscriber! | Permalink
  • fascinating stuff!

    I can't wait to learn more.
    Posted 14 months ago by le beebs Subscriber! | Permalink