Topic

The Glitchen Survival Kit

Now, with R2 housing and all that, I bet you have loooooooots more space in your inventory! Enough space for some...paranoia. I know that sounds stupid. But paranoia may save your life! All you must do to appease your paranoia (as long as it doesn't grow) is prepare this simple Glitchen Survival Kit. You know, in case of an impeding apocalypse. I mean, who knows? One day you might wake up in an abandoned apartment building with nothing but you, your wits, and your bags. And you might find out that somehow the dead have come back to life (well, they always did, but now when they're reanimated they're scary) and are running around trying to kill Glitchen like you! You'll need to survive. And to make surviving easier, you'll need to prepare this survival kit. It fits into a big bag. 

First, you'll need warmth, light, and shelter! I recommend:
- 5 x Bushels of Grain
- 10 x General Fabric
- 1 x Firefly Jar (7/7)
Here it is!
The Bushels of Grain are shelter! They make a fort of sorts and protect you from the prying eyes of said dead-now-alive Glitchen who want to kill you. The fabric provides warmth! Isn't it so cozy? And the firefly jar? Light, of course. You might also want to pack
- 1 x Random Kindness
in case you ever meet another Glitchen that is alive and peaceful. And it is really pretty, too.
Now, as for food? (Because you don't want to die in a world where dead people come back to life and kill other people and are generally messed up.)
- 250 x Eggs
- 60 x Meats
- 80 x Butterfly Milk
- 250 x General Vapor
- 250 x Beans
- 250 x Plain Bubbles
- 250 x Cherries
- 250 x Allspice
All this loot in a pile!
Well, of course you'll need this for nomming, but it's also entertaining...kinda. You can stick beans up your nose and cherries in your ear, pretending that you are a tree as you sit on a Bushel of Grain on guard duty for the rest of your camp.
And of course, a very important item:
- 80 x Spinach
Here.
For running away when things get too dire! Try to keep most of your supplies in your bag so that when this does happen, you can still have most of your stuff with you as you leap away in a giant super-spinach bound.
And finally, probably REALLY important:
- 1 x Knife and Board
You can use this for cooking. But I suggest you keep the knife to defend yourself against monsters! Ur runs on some sort of Giant electricity network (I think Tii does the figuring) as a heat source for cooking and to light the lamps in your pretty homes. But if the apocalypse comes, maybe the Giants will be gone, so you can't count on electricity to heat your pots and pans. The Knife and Board is the only electricity-free cooking device, and it's pretty sharp, too.
Here the jellisac pile plays the part of the monster: Look!
Would you look at that! It doesn't DARE to cross that ferocious Knife and Board! And the board can be a shield, too, if completely necessary.

So there you go, Glitchen! Sixteen slots of PURE SURVIVAL. You'll be thanking me later! Trust me, you will, because the apocalypse is gonna come NO MATTER WHAT. What's that, doctor? Time for pills again? Hey...no...NO I WON'T HAVE THE STUPID
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Posted 6 months ago by Sororia Rose Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • yes. THIS!  A Glitch needs to be prepared for when the PLOPS HIT THE FAN!
    Posted 6 months ago by Soupie♨ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • uhm...naw...you can find any of that if you go running around Ur.

    Currants, maybe a repair tool so you can make things.  There is way too much junk just waiting to be harvested.

    Actually, you can collect meat or milk and then make/buy all the rest.  Look at Randall, the Homeless Glitch.  He started with nothing, now he has 38 million currants and a ton of rare collectibles in his secret hoarding pile.
    Posted 6 months ago by ☣ elf ☣ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Unless the resources are CONSUMED BY THE HUNGRY UNDEAD.
    Posted 6 months ago by Sororia Rose Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm with you on the survival kit. I'm in the process of hoarding an SDB full of everything – and I mean everything – in anticipation of the coming Chicken Revolt.
    Posted 6 months ago by dm Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yeah and you should consider placing all those into some classy packaging ® to survive with style.
    Posted 6 months ago by Lemo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oh, very nice!
    Posted 6 months ago by diaveborn ♥ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This gave me a good chuckle!
    Posted 6 months ago by GreyGoose Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I usually carry around most of that stuff. I guess I'm a well prepared Glitch!
    Posted 6 months ago by AwesomeCardinal2000 Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Ummm, didn't the Rook Museum tell us that we are already sort of living after an apocalypse or eleven?  And given the skull masks, the sewn closed mouths, and the dead baby jackets, if we had another apocalypse....how would you tell?
    Posted 6 months ago by KhaKhonsu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I love this post.
    Posted 6 months ago by Thursday Soleil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This was amazing. I laughed so hard.
    Posted 6 months ago by Capt. S.T. Weasley Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I for one welcome our new fox overlords
    Posted 6 months ago by Mal'akh Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thank you! Now I will not fear the apocalypse!
    Posted 6 months ago by rosedragon Subscriber! | Permalink