Topic

Gardening in "the real world"

In the absence of a test I thought I would share today's experience with you.

Built two raised vegetable frames in the garden - planted runner beans, beetroot, aubergine (not egg plant, thats just a silly name in the real world), peas and some sweet corn plants.  Kids helped but even taking that into account I got it all done and had a lovely time.  Then something strange happened.  I watered them from the hosepipe - made sure they were all petted down....watered a bit more...then had a sit down and a cup of tea.  10 minutes later - nothing had grown.......so i watered a bit more.....petted a bit more.....then went and answered the call of nature.  Upon my return, nothing.......then i realised. It must have been a community garden so in the few minutes I had been gone, my next door neighbour must have come in and picked everything and not planted anything in return. 

I relayed this tale to my darling wife (the current Mrs Apple) who told me that I had issues and needed to speak to a professional.

Moral of this story - gardening in "the real world" is fun but takes a bit longer.

Posted 20 months ago by Bob Apple Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • Oh Bob you did make me laugh, have you tried singing to butterflies? One small word of advice do not squeeze a chicken, believe me chicken poop down yer welly boot is really goss. But good on you for the gardening you'll reap your rewards and don't be too hard on the neighbour happen hes off looking for a garden vendor already.
    Posted 20 months ago by Faereluth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yep your gona need some patience there Mr Apple
    In ther UK runner beans should not be planted out side till end of May. You can start them now indoors if you like 
    Beetroot can go in around now, but you wont be picking it untill August
    Aubergine seeds should have gone in a couple of weeks ago but ONLY in a green house in the UK
    Peas can go in the ground now but I tend to start mine off inside the green house in a old piece of roof guttering as the mice tend to go eat them out of the soil and I never see a pea shoot.
    Wait another week before starting your sweet corn seeds and keep them in the green house till middle of May. They like the warm weather.
    Of course petting them will make them all extremely happy  but the neighbours may call the men in white coats :P
    Patience is a virtue and you clearly have non you Nutter  pmsl 
    Posted 20 months ago by Misha Subscriber! | Permalink
  • well Mrs Apple did come out to the garden and asked me what i was doing - when i said i was squeezing a chicken she called me a pervert!
    Posted 20 months ago by Bob Apple Subscriber! | Permalink
  • She has relied this only now?
    Posted 20 months ago by Misha Subscriber! | Permalink
  • im now officially hurt
    Posted 20 months ago by Bob Apple Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LOL Bob! You make me feel so much better.... I was over the moon this morning because my broccoli finally sprouted! I have the worst trouble with broccoli, yet every year I try again. Hopefully I got it right this time :) We got an early warm, so I've got some of the early peas going (some of those do just fine with mild frosts), and a cool four-season lettuce that's doing nicely. The onions have about 18 inches of green top so far, and my tomatoes will be ready to start transitioning outside in a week or so.
    Posted 20 months ago by Travinara Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Well I am the third generation of Kent Apple Farmers so I do know a fair bit about real world gardening.....Misha, one word for you.....Cloches...
    Posted 20 months ago by Bob Apple Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @Bob Apples, when I was a little girl I was sent to stay with a foster mum for a year and she had fairy greenhouses, imagine my delight at seeing tiny little plants grown by the faries, Of course I grew up to learn they were Cloches and the magical tiny plants were just seeds germinating but back then it was something very wonderful and so thank you for reminding me :D
    Posted 20 months ago by Faereluth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LOL @Bob Apples. You know, I had a disappointment myself. I planted an egg plant and only got a purple bitter vegetable out of it. No eggs!

    Paula
    Posted 20 months ago by FrankenPaula Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Bob Apple, right there with you!
    Tilled in the back, watered and planted - waited... nothing. Garlic is close, though.
    Running from back to front and to the back again to waste time, my wife let the dogs out and I mistook them for piggies (they're pugs). They enjoyed the petting, but not so much the nibbling... which to my disappointment, no meat was given. So I fed them and all I got was a pug plop, which I don't think I want to examine, no matter what kind of seeds might be in there!

    Gotta go, my wife is coming down the hall with my Glitch embroidered straightjacket...
    Posted 20 months ago by Orefye Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Warning! As a professional greenhouses grower, I can tell you that "the hand that holds the hose holds the profit."  It is better to let the plants go a little dry and then water them well, rather than tease them. Later,
    Posted 20 months ago by Mater Subscriber! | Permalink
  • BTY, I have never petted a plant till I played Glitch. Later, 
    Posted 20 months ago by Mater Subscriber! | Permalink
  • As another real life professional gardener I wish for a little pop-up over the perennial beds that says 'All Good- nothing to do here' over the plants that require no care.

    Weevel grubs be damned.
    Posted 20 months ago by Wrendolin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • And this is why I love living in the desert.  We now have a golden barrel the size of a beach ball in our front yard that supposedly can't be transplanted, and was bought from the sale rack at a supermarket.  I think we only watered it once immediately after transplanting.  After letting it dry out for several days.  Kinda like aloe.
    Posted 20 months ago by Riversong Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LOL Friendfeed habit, I just tried to "Like" this post. Thanks for the smiles and as a gardener who just planted a lot of stuff, I can definitely relate.
    Posted 20 months ago by Jarhaven Subscriber! | Permalink
  • My apple tree had pink buds this morning and blossoms this afternoon! Faster than Glitch. Makes me wish I had some egg tree seeds in RL.
    Posted 20 months ago by justpeace Subscriber! | Permalink
  • How's them beans Bob? Seems like they should be edible just about now, and the corn should look like corn rather than grass.
    Posted 19 months ago by Travinara Subscriber! | Permalink
  • WOW.. Soil is just warm enough to plant  this week.
    Tomatoes, aubergine, carrots, peas, radish and the lettuces( like the peas) that should have been planted weeks ago, but couldn't be because of all the rain.
    We should be harvesting strawberries now, but this year, local farmers couldn't even till until this week.
    Posted 19 months ago by caley dunn Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I've got onion, spinach and lettuce producing (nifty 4 season variety), beans are about a week out. My early corn failed, and the broccoli made it through the worst. Beets and carrots have pretty green tops and didn't seem bothered by the snow this year. Squash, watermelon, and pumpkin have shoots, and the cucumber has put out a vine.

    I planned for the early random weather (I live in the mountains so we can get 90 degrees and snow in the same 6 hours).... We use some of the residual solar and cover the stuff like tomatoes with dark materials, and the beans essentially get a hotbox (wooden box with a recycled non-uv protective window for a top) when the weather gets cold - top gets opened when the weather is nice, and the whole thing disassembles easily. 
    Posted 19 months ago by Travinara Subscriber! | Permalink
  • How's the garden Bob? Some of my runner beans have withered and died - I've been told I planted them too early. I blame the haevy winds we've had.

    Worryingly I've also been caught petting my wannabe vegetables and trying to repair my watering can much too often.
    So far i have failed to dig up any extoic juices or cocktails and there's been no sign of a musicblock.
    Posted 19 months ago by Twoodle Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1 Bob LOL
    Posted 19 months ago by Gomez Addams Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +100 Bob, funny thing I've been trying and noticing the same lack of results <:)
    Posted 19 months ago by welshcorgi Subscriber! | Permalink