Topic

Random Non-canon Stories, Etc.

It is 1pm here, I've finished all my real work and the game is closed. I could go work on one of a dozen projects I have but I'm not in the mood. I could also go work on the story I have already been working on here, but I'm still trying to sort out how I want to get to the next moments. (I'm leading up to what the month of Doom is but I sort of messed up my character arcs. I'm getting there.)

So screw it. I'm gonna right random bits about Glitch. And I'm taking suggestions. Anything.* And if others want to do their own, obviously grab a suggestion posted or do your own or whatever!

First up is from a suggestion by goodtory: "the legend of a creature who lived (lives?) deep in a peat bog."


* When I say anything, I probably won't do slashfic. So all of those waiting for my Grendaline/stoot story, don't hold your breath.

Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • Legend Of The Bog Beast (suggestion by goodstory)

    "Now gather around, my little Glitchens, and listen to my tale. It is a tale of fear and danger and woe and of things unknown. You may become frightened by my words, but mark them well. Ignore them at your own peril, I say. If you do, you too may fall victim to the Beast of the Bogs! 

    “You! Whatever your name is! Take off those crab headphones and show me some respect! I have something to tell you. 

    “Many many years ago, I think in was year 8 or year 9, so that’s what? Eight, seven years ago? I can’t say for sure but t was long ago. Six Glitchens packed up their shovels and bags full of awesome stews and set up into the back reaches of Shimla Mirch. They were on a quest, you see. Full of vim and vigor and moxie and gumption, and perhaps hubris, they were going to find out if they could empty a peat bog quicker than anyone had ever done before. So quickly, they believed, that they could empty it before it filled up again. They were going to find what was truly at the bottom of a bog! 

    “This was in the days before subways so they had to walk. What is that? Why didn’t they teleport? Meh! You kids! Today, with your map teleportations! Just find a street and spend a token and POOF! You’re there! Bah! In my day, we couldn’t map teleport. You had to go somewhere before you could teleport there. And we had to teleport up hill. Both ways. Bah! So they had to walk. But for what ever reason, they could not find a complete bog. What? Why did they need a complete one? I don’t know. I wasn’t there. It was a quest. They were stupid. Doesn’t matter. Just shut your flummery holes for two seconds.  

    “Where was I? Oh yes. They could not find a full bog. So deeper and deeper and deeper into Shimla Mirch they went. The air became thick and muggy and a chill crept into their bones. Soon the names of streets and sign posts became difficult to read. Was it because the signs were old and decayed? Was it because they were coated with layers of bog much? Or, perhaps, were the words and letters changing, becoming a language unlearned by any Glitchen who retained their sanity? Who knows! 

    “Deeper they went for they were a troupe of brave if potentially stupid Glitchen. Until they ended up on a far street, dark and barren. There was no shine and no vendor. All that existed on the street was one singular peat bog in the dead center. 

    “The six Glitch approached the bog and pulled out their shovels. They each ate a bowl of stew and toasted to their future glory. Yes, you can toast with stew. You can toast with anything! You can toast with toast it you wanted to! Shut it! I’m getting to the good part. 

    “They gathered in a circle around the bog, shovels at ready. Their leader, I think his name was Dave or David or Davy or maybe it was Dewy? I a neighbor named Dewy once. Total jerk. Always knocking on my door at weird hours of the night. ‘Can I borrow a pinch of salt?’ ‘Can I borrow your blockmaker?’ ‘Can I use your wood tree?’ I hated that guy. Was he named Dewy? Louie? What? I’m getting to it! 

    “They each readied their shovel and there leader who may or may have been named Dave counted down from ten. The anticipation was visceral. And on ‘One!’ they all began to did as fast as they could! Peat flew over their shovels as they dug blindly into the bog. So blindly that they didn't notice that the deeper they dug, the darker the peat became. It grew black and slick and oily, staining their shovels with its icky ick. 

    “Within seconds, the the bog was completely empty. Not normal empty, mind you. Empty empty. Not a bit of peat left. But the Glitchen discovered it was not really empty... for they’d discovered something else. Something very very old. 

    “Oh, now I see you’re listening. Maybe I should stop now and stretch my legs a bit. Okay, okay. Calm the hack down. 

    “There are not words to describe what they found in total, what they witnessed looking into the depth of that empty/not empty bog hole. But, if you’d been on the outside of that circle, you’d have seen the Glitchen scream in uncomprehending fear. You’d have seen dark tentacles, wet and covers in sparse sharp hair, pulsing with stygian fluids, shoot from the hole. You’d have seen the tentacles wrap around the Glitchen’s heads one by one and pull them down into the nothingness, their screams echoing into the void. 

    “And then, in less time it took them to empty the bog, it filled up again and the the street was silent.
    “Believe me or not, little Glitchen, but this story is true. The bog and the beast still exist. It is out there, somewhere. So has you are off doing your explorin’ and looting the world for your precious little projects, beware! Beware!, I tell you! 

    “Now get out off my porch. I have some nappin' to do.”
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Next up: What is a Groddle, Where are they now? Will they ever return? More importantly, why did they leave in the first place? Did they leave or were they pushed? (suggested by Faereluth)
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Can you include a fictional item in the What is a Groddle one called "Groddle Gravy"? kevbob tried to con me into thinking this was a real item once and nearly succeeded. I am SO gullible. But maybe the Groddles took their special gravy recipe with them when they left!

    P.S. I love the cranky old man vibe going in the Bog Beast story...plus the eerie resemblance of the beast to a (pre-George Lucas-idiot-"improvement") Sarlaac.
    Posted 17 months ago by RM Subscriber! | Permalink
  • oh Lord Bacon-o what a great story tho . . . well I was hoping the bog beast was Serguei hehee on account of his love of sleeping underground :) but bravo that was one awefulsome tale.
    Posted 17 months ago by Faereluth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Oh my beloved Lord Byron Bacon-O,
    How trippingly the words spill off your very deft  and nimble  tongue... Please give us more of your verbal permutations... I long to hear this tale   of the Bog Beast ..   It brings to mind the story of Frankenstein's monster... written by a friend of the real Lord Byron....May your muse titilate your mind so that you feel compelled to put down more words on paper...with adoring looks and hopes for a stolen kiss, your Napabeth
    Posted 17 months ago by napabeth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • RM, I'm pretty sure LBO's homage was even earlier - to H.P. Lovecraft!  Except... he didn't use the word "eldritch," did he?  Hm...
    Posted 17 months ago by jasbo Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *applause* well done!
    Posted 17 months ago by Meezley Subscriber! | Permalink
  • jasbo, you are correct. I actually avoided using the term 'eldritch' for fear of being to on the nose.

    (And aside: Some day I will write a musical called "Lovecraft's Crafty Love.")
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink