Not all of us get the very creative email messages when adding a friend on Glitch and I haven't really paid attention to them before & so I thought I would share my top 10 for those who don't receive them.
I have inserted the username Pants to protect the innocent.
They always start: "Pants has added you as a contact on Glitch. This will probably be because they want to be able to contact you when they're playing the game"
1.) 7 minutes in Heaven:
Don't worry, it's not weird. You're not contracted to be pals for life. It doesn't mean you have to marry them, or even spend 7 minutes in a locked storage cabinet with them (though of course you can if you want. Who am I to tell you what to do? I'm not the boss of you. Do whatever you like).
It's just nice to have people to play with sometimes.
2.) Twin suns of Jethimadh:
Why? Who knows. But it might well be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Years from now, sitting, watching the suns setting behind Jethimadh Tower, you might look back on this moment and say “Pants? Do you remember that time you added me as a contact? And all the crazy adventures we've had since then?" And Pants will smile, and nod.
"Good times, Cleops" Pants will say. "Good times."
3.) I’m not weird:
You may know Pants, you may not. Perhaps you've helped them out on a quest, perhaps they just wandered past and admired the cut of your jib. How should I know? However, one thing I do know: It's not weird, just friendly.
Sign in to the game to say hi. Or don't, whatever... no skin off my nose.
Or it wouldn't be if I had a nose, which I don't (being software):
4.) Robot pickle:
Pants? I hear you ask: Who is this Pants?!? What do they want from me? Are they real? Is this a trick? What's going on? Is this Pants a robot? Some kind of test? WHY ME?!?
To which I say: woah there, pickle! Pants probably just added you so that they could contact you while playing the game. To send mail, or challenge you for races.See? It's all cool, and not weird or freaky at all! (Disclaimer: unless it is).
5.) Old spice reference:
They may have added you so they could invite you to parties. Or challenge you to races. Or ask you important questions about that thing they've heard you're an expert in.
Or maybe, just maybe they added you so that they could send you diamonds every day in the mail. And two tickets to that thing you love. They probably didn't, of course, but anything is possible. It is Glitch, after all.
Want to say hi? Sign in to the game: http://www.glitch.com/Pants
I'm on a horse.
6.) AFK:
You may have seen Pants around - small two-legged humanoid? You MUST know them. Large head? Eclectic Wardrobe? Likes jumping? Tendency to sleep standing up and occasionally laugh for no apparent reason? Ringing any bells?
7.) LoTR:
Why? Well, a problem shared is a problem halved. And a game shared is fun doubled. And a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. So, ergo (if I’ve got this right) a problem is worth less than one eleventy-ninth of a game, and therefore, two heads being better than one, you’re at least 5/16ths better off than you were before Pants added you as a contact.
Trust me, I’m a computer.
8.) Secret agent:
Don’t be freaked. You may never have heard of Pants, but the chance that they’re a secret government agent from an alien planet that has been sent to infiltrate your life and use you as a tool for destruction of the world as we know it is really very, very small. Most likely, they just want to invite you to races and send you stuff in the in-game mail.
9.) Bill and Ted:
In this universe, this may be the first contact you’ve had with Pants. But in a mirror universe, you’ve already become friends, formed a band, discovered a hitherto unimagined mode of time travel, taken down the rook, played chess with the grim reaper, and founded a peaceful movement that will lead the world into a new, glorious, age of enlightenment.
Of course, none of that may happen at all in THIS universe, but you could always drop over to the game to say hi:
10.) (My personal fav) Manatee:
It may seem weird, but don’t worry – it’s not weird. No, weird would be if Pants happened to be a manatee with opposable thumbs and an underwater laptop who was adding you as a contact so they could send you U2 lyrics in German. This is just someone who wants to invite you to parties and maybe send you treats in the in-game mail.
Why not drop by and say hi to Pants, who is almost certainly not a manatee?
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Which ones am I missing?