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#### Sloth Knockers song lyrics competition - Enter to win 1 of 3 Rube Shaped Potatoes! **WINNERS ANNOUNCED**

The Sloth Knockers Glitch band needs some more songs for their repertoire before embarking on their 2012 Ur tour.
So far we only have the songs Meatjoy, Sloth Knockin' and The Rube Theme (See lyrics on level 1 in my tower)
We're looking for submissions for new songs. They can either be to the tune of a music block or to a popular song of any genre, except jazz, and can be about anything remotely Glitchy. The more absurd the better.
Just keep them short as we don't have a big attention span.
The top 3 best submissions as judged by the panel of resident Sloth Knockers will each win a Rube Shaped Potato, a stack of No No Powder and a Wine of the Dead so that you too can live it large.
Winners (of the Rube Shaped Potato):
- Avnas - Fought the Rook
- Moz Art - One Ur
- Pii - Rube Shaped Potato
Runners up:
Due to the high quality and amount of effort people put into their submissions all other entrants will receive their very own Antique Spigot
Congratulations and thanks so much to everyone who participated:) The Sloth Knockers will now be able to go on their Ur tour with a complete repertoire.
All lyric submissions are on display on level 1 of my tower.
Small print: the writers of the winning songs will receive full credit but will waiver all future royalties upon receipt of prizes:)

Posted 4 months ago by Cleops | Permalink

### Replies

- (to the tune of Never Gonna Give You Up)
  I'm no stranger to sloths.
  They see me just about every day.
  A stack of snails is what I'm thinking of.
  I'm ready to give them a metal rod buffet!
  I just wanna get more screwy nail things.
  Gotta make all this furniture...
  I need snails for lots of doors,
  I need snails to build more floors,
  I need to make and sell some decorations.
  I need snails for SDBs,
  'cause this storage isn't free!
  When I get those snails, I'll have a celebration!
  Posted 4 months ago by Sororia Rose | Permalink
- Fought the Rook
  Mining metal in the hot sun
  (I fought the rook, and the rook won
  I fought the rook, and the rook won)
  They wanted donations, but I had none
  (I fought the rook, and the rook won
  I fought the rook, and the rook won)
  I left 'em hanging and it feels so bad,
  I guess that street is done
  It's the worst dang feelin' that I ever had,
  I fought the rook, and the rook won
  I fought the rook, and the...
  I miss my trees and I miss my fun
  (I fought the rook, and the rook won
  I fought the rook, and the rook won)
  I miss my piggies and my yellow crumb
  I fought the rook, and the rook won
  I fought the rook, and the rook won
  Posted 4 months ago by Avnas | Permalink
- "Sniff It"
  A parody of "Beat It" by Michael Jackson
  How come you never take your flaps like you should?
  The doctor says that it will make you feel so good
  If I were in your shoes then I would take it, yes I would
  So sniff it, just sniff it
  If you just take it you'll be energy high
  You'll cook up lots of applejack, bake lots of pie
  Don't ask me what it does for you, don't ask me how or why
  Just sniff it, It's amazing for you
  Just sniff it, Sniff it
  Get yourself some no-no, whiff it!
  Use up more no-no, Use up more flaps
  Sniff up more powder in those small wraps
  Just sniff it, Just sniff it
  Just sniff it, Just sniff it!
  Don't care about what all the subway ads say
  Just make your own decisions, do it your own way
  You better make some no-no, better use some flaps today
  Just sniff it, Just sniff it
  It's classified among the dangerous drugs
  It kills a lot of Glitchen, kills a lot of bugs
  But all the cool folks use it and as well as all the thugs
  So sniff it, It's fantastic for you
  Just sniff it, Sniff it
  Use a plain old beaker, whip it!
  Make a few no-no, Make a few more
  It doesn't matter if it's a bore
  Just sniff it, Sniff it
  Take that little flap and lift it!
  Just one more no-no, Just one more time
  You'll feel so happy, You'll feel sublime
  Just sniff it, sniff it, sniff it, sniff it
  Sniff it, sniff it, sniff it, sniff it
  Sniff it, Sniff it
  Don't make any waste, don't gift it!
  Just one more no-no, One more amount
  Just some more powder till you can't count
  Just sniff it!
  Posted 4 months ago by AwesomeCardinal2000 | Permalink
- Haha. These are absoultely brilliant and if nobody else enters you're all winners:) Keep them coming.
  Posted 4 months ago by Cleops | Permalink
- bump - c'mon budding song writers. They don't have to be long and you will win yourself a rarity.
  Posted 4 months ago by Cleops | Permalink
- To the tune of Money by Pink Floyd
  No-no, get away!
  I don't want to die before New Day.
  No-no, it's a gas!
  Refill my tank then pray I live through the crash...
  Mine ore, repair more, make cheese for sandwiches
  to sell to other glitches!
  No-no, get back!
  I don't need you to make that bubble stack.
  No-no, it's a hit.
  Hell One's nice but I don't want to visit it.
  Mine ore, repair more, make cheese for sandwiches
  to sell to other glitches!
  No-no, it's a crime
  Stir up Cosmox and Lemene in no time
  No-no, so they say
  Is the root of all evil today...
  But if you ask for a flap
  from a chap in Cebarkul
  he's giving none away
  Away
  Away
  Away
  Away...
  Posted 4 months ago by Pale Queen | Permalink
- Baby Sloth (To the tune of Billionaire by Bruno Mars)
  I really want a baby sloth, so frickin' bad,
  I'd trade all of the things I always had.
  I wanna be on the cover of Sloth Magazine,
  Surrounded by all my beloved sloths.
  Oh every time I go on Glitch,
  I play with them and bring them ro-o-ods,
  Yea yea-a-a!
  A different street every time,
  All right, I swear,
  Glitch better prepare,
  For when there are baby sloths!
  Ohh, ohh.
  When there are baby sloths,
  Oh, oh.
  I really want a baby sloth, so frickin' bad...
  Note to stoot - If you did make it possible to hatch sloths like you can pigs and chickens and butterflies, that would really ROCK... Just sayin'.
  Posted 4 months ago by gracerigney | Permalink
- On the first day of Glitchmas, Alph gave to me a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the second day of Glitchmas, Cosma gave to me two Focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the Third day of Glitchmas, Friendly gave to me Three glitchen partying, two Focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the Fourth day of Glitchmas, Grendaline gave to me Four Jellies scooped, Three Glitchen Partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the Fifth day of Glitchmas humbaba gave to me Five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three Glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree.
  On the sixth day of christmas, Lem gave to me Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the seventh day of glitchmas, Mab gave to me seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the eighth day of glitchmas, pot gave to me Eight awesome stews, seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the Ninth day of Glitchmas, Spriggan gave to me nine trees planted, Eight awesome stews, seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the tenth day of Glitchmas Tii Gave to me ten potions churning nine trees planted, Eight awesome stews, seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a treeOn the eleventh day of Glitchmas, zille gave to me eleven metal rods, ten potions churning nine trees planted, Eight awesome stews, seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  On the twelfth day of glitchmas, the Rook gave to me a street torn to pieces, eleven metal rods, ten potions churning, nine trees planted, Eight awesome stews, seven fresh peat, Six teleportation scripts, five chicks chirping, four jellies scooped, three glitchen partying, two focusing orbs and a sloth munching rods in a tree
  Posted 4 months ago by wuilyl | Permalink
- To the tune of MusicBlock DR-5
  We're Sloths, We're Sloths
  Feed us all your rods
  We're Slo-o-o-oths
  We're Sloths.
  Posted 4 months ago by Mumble Grumble | Permalink
- To the tune of 'One World' by the late, great Bob Marley
  One Ur!
  One Heart!
  Let's get together and play all right.
  Hear the Glitchen cryin'
  (One Ur!)
  Hear the Glitchen cryin'
  (One Heart!)
  Sayin': give thanks and praise
  To the Giants and we will feel all right;
  Sayin': let's get together
  And play all night.
  Wo wo-wo wo-wo!
  Let them get on with their grinding tasks (One Ur!)
  There is one question
  I'd really love to ask (One Heart!)
  Is there a place for the hopeless hoarder,
  Who has burst the seams of his house
  And overstepped his borders?
  One Ur! What about the one heart?
  One Heart!
  What about?
  Let's get together and play all night
  As it was in the beta
  (One Ur!)
  So shall it be in the Full Release
  (One Heart!)
  All right!
  Break out the Hooch and we will
  And we will all get tight;
  Let's get together
  And play all night.
  One more thing!
  Let's get together to fight
  This Roving Rookagiddyon (One Ur!)
  So when Stoot arrives there will be no,
  No mess (One Heart!)
  Have pity on those whose
  Currants grow t'inner;
  There ain't no hiding place
  From the Rare Items Vendor.
  Sayin': One Ur!
  What about the One Heart?
  (One Heart!)
  What about the?
  Let's get together and play all night
  Give thanks and praise to the Giants
  And play all night!
  Posted 4 months ago by Moz Art | Permalink
- Rube-shaped Potato
  (To the tune of "Smooth Operator")
  A vague shape, I know from someplace
  He offers trades with minimum waste but minimum joy.
  A fuel cell? go to Hell
  All I desire is Wittgenstein, that would be fine
  I remember the pain but I still call
  Hoping Rubeweed might someday help
  Get me a happy ending, a Freidrich doll
  But maybe I'll get
  a Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato, Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato
  Coast to coast, Talanga Tops and Kongu Hop
  Across Groddle and Ix, all he's got are chicken sticks
  Face to face, with his orange case
  I see the box but I'm left cross,
  Yet I love the chase.
  The essence I drink, "This time!" I think
  He'll take my spindle and change it to gold
  But his eyes are shifty and his heart is cold.
  But at least I have
  a Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato, Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato
  It's a vague shape, I know from someplace
  I love it when his song plays
  I just think of
  my Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato, Rube-shaped Potato
  Rube-shaped Potato....
  Posted 4 months ago by Pii | Permalink
- i know my votes dont matter but "fought the rook" is hilarious
  Posted 4 months ago by Frowning Flounder | Permalink
- Purple Flowers by Lemi Hendrix
  Purple flowers all in my brain
  Lately things just seem so strange
  Floatin' round in the Scion's eye
  'Scuse me while I kiss this fire
  (No! Don't do that! It's hot!!)
  Purple flowers all around
  Not sure how, I think I'm gonna drown
  Can someone please tell me what's wrong with me??
  What ever it is, that girl put a spell on me
  (Oh so that's why you've been wandering the woods butt naked for a week?)
  *random drug fueled guitar-solo*
  Purple flowers all in my gaze
  Delirious, I'm losing track of days
  Don't think I'll ever trip this mess again
  Please tell me just who's skin I'm in
  (...dude I'm gonna need that back)
  *smashes guitar over head*
  *starts fire*
  *promptly dies from No-No overdose*
  Posted 4 months ago by Osiris χ | Permalink
- glitchen rapsody
  to the tune of bohemian raphsody
  Mama, nibbled a pig,
  put her teeth agatnst its head,
  nibbled too hard now it's dead.
  Mama, its life had just begun,
  but now you've gone and thrown it all away,
  mama ooooh you didnt mean to make it die.
  If I dont go and hatch another piglet,
  nibble on, nibble on,
  as if nothing really matters.
  Posted 4 months ago by Hell's Bartender | Permalink
- To the tune of this amazing song.
  Sloth Knocking (Awesome Sloth Guy)
  A long, long time ago I can still remember how the furniture would make me smile
  And I knew if I had my chance, I could make sloth tummies dance
  And maybe they'd give me snails for a while
  The frog takes too long to deliver -
  I'll brave those trees and their splinters
  And knock on sloth doorsteps with the rods I had prepped
  A sloth came out and opened wide, but all too soon I was brushed aside
  And I felt lonely deep inside... the day the sloth said bye
  So bye, bye Mr. Awesome Sloth Guy
  I was gonna feed you more except you seem satisfied
  Another tree, another knocker I'll try
  Hoping someday soon the pain in me dies
  I hope someday the pain in me dies
  Posted 4 months ago by diaveborn ♥ | Permalink
- Haha. These are all great. I feel an Ur tour coming on. Only a few hours to go until the competition closes. The judges have a tough choice to make.
  Posted 4 months ago by Cleops | Permalink
- "Chick's in the Cradle"
  (Based on the first and last verses of "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chapin)
  My chick arrived just the other day
  Hatched from an egg in the usual way
  There were rooks to dispatch, smuggled goods to convey
  She learned to talk while I was away
  She was complainin' 'fore I knew it, though she never grew,
  Saying, "I don't like it here cause it smells, Dad
  You know it really smells like poo"
  And there's Jethimadh Tower and the Hidden Room
  Ilmenskie Jones and the whole Toxic Moon
  One day, revenge, but until then grain
  I hate it here, it's so mundane
  You know it's gonna drive me insane
  I fed her some grain on Naatamo Way,
  Now she's a chicken, in every way.
  I said "I'd like to squeeze you if you don't mind"
  She said "Buy grain on auction, it's so easy to find
  You either really like grain, or the chase we go through
  But someday I'm gonna squeeze you, Dad
  One day I'm gonna squeeze you"
  And as I walked down the street it occurred to me
  She'd grown up just plain mean
  My chick was just plain mean
  And there's Jethimadh Tower and the Hidden Room
  Ilmenskie Jones and the whole Toxic Moon
  One day, revenge, but until then grain
  I hate it here, it's so mundane
  You know it's gonna drive me insane
  Posted 4 months ago by Don Monkey | Permalink
- (To the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star)
  Jingle, jingle, stingy Rube!
  I learned the use for butterfly lube.
  Must you shaft me oh so hard?
  Even though I bought the cards?
  Jingle, jingle, stingy Rube!
  Now I always carry lube.
  Posted 4 months ago by Sirentist | Permalink
- This competition is now closed for judging. Results will be posted ASAP
  Posted 4 months ago by Cleops | Permalink
- *holds breath in anticipation*
  Posted 3 months ago by Osiris χ | Permalink
- Good luck to everyone!
  And so I don't have to mail all of the 20-ish authors in here, could I use your guys' works in the Glitchian Anthology I'm working on? Thanks :)
  ^_^
  Posted 3 months ago by NightDraconis | Permalink
- Congratulations to all the winners!
  Just wondering: will the runner-ups be on the next Ur tour as well?
  Posted 3 months ago by AwesomeCardinal2000 | Permalink
- AwesomeCardinal - all entrants qualify as official Sloth Knockers now, but only the top three have been assigned groupies and so you may need to get your own;)
  I'm positive that if you stand in the middle of Cebarkul and sing your very slothtastic 'Sniff It' (a personal fav. of mine) you'll be trampled to death by admirers.
  I am still impressed by the quality of submissions that you are all winners to me. I wouldn't hesitate in asking any of you to come trash Stoot's tower with me. I will defo need a little help lifting his sdb's off the wall to throw into the swimming pool.
  I may do a sing along near Jerry (Garcia) the Sloth at Kaha Haha this weekend and any of you are welcome to join me.
  Posted 3 months ago by Cleops | Permalink
- Congrats to the winners! I'm honored to be a runner-up to you guys
  Posted 3 months ago by Osiris χ | Permalink
- Eeeetankoo♥♥
  Posted 3 months ago by diaveborn ♥ | Permalink
- I think that if I sang "Sniff It" in the middle of Cebarkul, I'd get a ton of blocks.
  Posted 3 months ago by AwesomeCardinal2000 | Permalink
- I awesomely enjoyed this contest and all the entries. Sloth Knockers, yeh!
  Posted 3 months ago by Splendora | Permalink
- Wooooo, yeah! Congrats to the winners!
  Posted 3 months ago by Don Monkey | Permalink
- Wow I never expected to win! Thanks so much!
  Posted 3 months ago by Avnas | Permalink
- Echoing Avnas - Wow I never expected to win! Thanks so much!
  I hope Bob forgives me for murdering his song lol
  Posted 3 months ago by Moz Art | Permalink
- Wow, thank you so much!!! This contest was so fun. I loved all the entries!
  Posted 3 months ago by Pii | Permalink