Topic

New Business: Lord Bacon-O's Anonymous Remailing Service™

Do you have a secret Glitch crush? Too shy to let them know?

Try LORD BACON-O's ANONYMOUS REMAILING SERVICE!

Want to repay a kindness but don't want the fuss them knowing who you are?

Try LORD BACON-O's ANONYMOUS REMAILING SERVICE!

Need to send message but keep your identity secret?

Then you should try LORD BACON-O's ANONYMOUS REMAILING SERVICE!

Our service is the most trusted in Ur. Your secrets stay secrets with our staff. In operation since the moment I hit post topic, not once has LBARS failed to deliver its message or have we revealed a name. Fast-ish, reliable, and cheaper then any of our competitors, what more could you ask for?

HOW DOES IT WORK?
Simple! That's how!

All you need to do is send the message you want relayed and who you want it relayed to (with a link to their profile). Attach any items you wish to send. Also attach 100 currants*.

Make your subject line "LBOARS."

As soon as you can say "Yoga frog, get out of my face!", our staff of highly trained individual resends the message and items to your desired recipient.**

BUT HOW WILL I KNOW THEY RECEIVED IT?
While we can't promise they will read the thing, we do send you confirmation that it was sent. AND if they wish to reply, that is covered in original cost!***

HOW CAN WE TRUST YOU TO NOT TELL PEOPLE?
Because we swear we won't. We double swear.
Not only that, but starting next test, we double dog swear.

CAN I SEND ANY MESSAGE?
No.  LBOARS will not send what we consider hate mail. Our guidelines are very clear - up to our own moral compass and arbitrary whim.

However, if we consider a message inappropriate, we tell you so, return any items and the fee PLUS refund the cost you paid for the message. (20 currants).****

So what are you waiting for? Send a secret admirer note today with...
LORD BACON-O'S ANONYMOUS REMAILING SERVICE!

When you absolutely positively need it sent pretty quickly but more importantly secretly.

TRY IT TODAY!*****


*100 currant fee pays for: The cost of mailing, the cost of paper and the cost of one reply from the recipient and a nominal processing fee. Not included is any fees paid to Frog Delivery. We also do not send priority, so don't ask.

**Mail will be sent in a timely matter depending on whether or not we are online. But should be in less than 24 hours. Way less most like. Maybe ten minutes. Maybe not.

***Please to not make inquiries as to whether they've sent a reply or not. If they do, you'll get it.

****So you'd get 120 currants back. While we don't accept hate mail, if you want to send plop or guano with a nice note or even no note, go to it.

*****Or when the world is next open.

(LBOARS™ is owned and operated by The Elbow Grease Industries Company Corporation Enterprise Holdings™.)
(All use of ™ is Satirical™ in nature.)

Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

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  • Love it!
    Posted 17 months ago by larky lion Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Same! If you get hate mail you should tell the staff. :)
    Posted 17 months ago by daniel5457 Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I will not violate that trust either. I will reply with reasons for not sending and delete the message. (Turning it into a "sting" operation would be creepy.)
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +3!
    Posted 17 months ago by stoot barfield Subscriber! | Permalink
  • this sounds pretty dang cool.

    unfortunately i can't think of anyone i'd want to send a note too anonymously. right now. i'll try to think of something.
    Posted 17 months ago by striatic Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wonderful idea! Already know what my first anonymous message will be (:
    Posted 17 months ago by Xacau Feera Blin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • how nice.......:)
    Posted 17 months ago by lwllw Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Now we just need a competing service so that we can have secret crushes on Lord Bacon-o!
    Posted 17 months ago by larky lion Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Lol love the idea!
    Posted 17 months ago by BumbleBeez Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Molto bene, Glitcherini!      This game is bringing out the finest entrepreneurial  spirit and who better than our highly beloved Lord Bacon - O,   as  close to the Bard as you can be -   to spring this upon us.
    It is going to foster even more love and intrigue... We need this now in these troubled times. Kudos and Good Luck. Hope you make many currants and that this sponsors some franchises. How about a Dating Service?
    Posted 17 months ago by napabeth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hilarious :)
    Posted 17 months ago by Violet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LB :-)  Super, super, super idea; just love it!
    Posted 17 months ago by ♥joby♥ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1  very neat idea
    Posted 17 months ago by MzMunchken Subscriber! | Permalink
  • What if we have a crush on Lord Bacon-0? *blushes* Will you lie to yourself and pretend you don't know who sent it? lol

    Interesting idea. Good luck with it :)
    Posted 17 months ago by Ebil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Great idea!
    Posted 17 months ago by Shepherdmoon Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +10 Larky Lion
    Posted 17 months ago by xoxJulie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This is soooo cute. Great idea!
    Posted 17 months ago by Crucial Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +11,000,000
    Posted 17 months ago by Nanookie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +11,111,111
    Posted 17 months ago by Fan' Elune Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1
    Posted 17 months ago by sakmet Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I love it...what will your slogan be...Let Bacon-o do it for you?
    Posted 17 months ago by marycontrary Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Good job Lord-B-O!
    Posted 17 months ago by MeherMan Subscriber! | Permalink
  • lol for this - I think it's great!!!!
    Posted 17 months ago by Firestone1960 Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This is a great idea.

    But, can't I MAKE money by sending hate mail?  If I have a piece of paper and give you 100 currants, then get back 121 if my mail is unacceptable, I am gonna send a ton of hate mail til I'm rich :)  

    Cause after all, paper DOES grow on trees.
    Posted 17 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink

  • "+3!" - stoot barfield
    "this sounds pretty dang cool." - striatic

    You know anything that gets the stoot AND the striatic seal of approval must be good.
    Or seriously messed up.

    "How about a Dating Service?" - napabeth

    That is phase two. It will involve me randomly selecting two names from a hat, giving them a firefly lit dinner of while I play the music box of their choice. After ten minutes I yell "KISS! KISS!" Costs 10,000 currants.

    Thank you. Note: I will"
    What if we have a crush on Lord Bacon-0? *blushes* Will you lie to yourself and pretend you don't know who sent it?"- Ebil

    We promise not to tell our selves.

    "Now we just need a competing service so that we can have secret crushes on Lord Bacon-o!" - larky lion

    I would support a LBO Crush Mailing Service if anyone is looking for investors.

    "But, can't I MAKE money by sending hate mail?  If I have a piece of paper and give you 100 currants, then get back 121 if my mail is unacceptable, I am gonna send a ton of hate mail til I'm rich :) " - Laurali

    Yes. That is possible. Since you are sending me 100 currants and spending 20 on mailing it, you will make a 1 currant profit. You'll be able to get that 50,000 cur house in no time!.

    "+11,000,000"
    "+11,111,111"

    I appreciate the extreme support but I have to ignore both of these as they are not primes.

    LBOARS - Get Your Crush On.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Haha building my mansion....1 currant at a time ;)
    Posted 17 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Laurali, if you need paper to use, I can sell you some at 2 currants per sheet.

    LBOARS - It's like sticking a secret note in someone's locker at school but with frogs.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Lol you are so funny Lord Bacon-o!  I'll probably send you a secret admirer note, but don't tell yourself, and don't tell my boyfriend!
    Posted 17 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "I love it...what will your slogan be...Let Bacon-o do it for you?" - marycontray

    Still working on that. Need something catchy that we can put on a subway train poster.
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LBOARS - Got a crush? Don't blush! Rush!
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Let Lord Bacon -o' s fingers do the walking for you.....
    Posted 17 months ago by napabeth Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LB-o, I am still waiting for the "Lord Baco-o dusts my Glitch house in a French maid outfit" service ;). Also...you crack me the hell up! Keep it up :D
    Posted 17 months ago by RM Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "I am still waiting for the "Lord Bacon-o dusts my Glitch house in a French maid outfit" service." - Rascalmom

    That is more of a hobby. Or fetish. No, let's call it hobby.
    (You should also know that I steal stuff yet cleaning folks' homes. Just a heads up.)
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Don't call it stealing, call it decluttering?
    Posted 17 months ago by Caesura Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Any chance we can add the mail to the API? I'm not sure how you work it into the economy, but I've been on MUDs and MUSHes and other games with external mail access.
    Posted 17 months ago by Fokian Fool Subscriber! | Permalink
  • LB-o: Maybe I have a piggy cam installed (a la nanny cam) to prevent French maid theft ;)
    Posted 17 months ago by RM Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Such a creative idea Lord Bacon-o! Best of luck...I'll be trying to find reasons for being anonymous! 
    Posted 17 months ago by Riverwalker Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Whipped this up while waiting for shrimp to brine.
    LBOARS, a subsidiary of EGICCEH
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • +1 on that pic, Lord Bacon-o! Brilliant:)
    Posted 17 months ago by RM Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Looks great Lord Bacon-o!  Now I have to develop a crush on someone so I can try out the service...........
    Posted 17 months ago by marycontrary Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Nice job! I want to say L'BOARS, with a cheezey hoity toity accent.
    Posted 17 months ago by Riverwalker Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I love you Lord Bacon-o.  +10 for all of this thread.
    Posted 17 months ago by WhizGidget Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm in!
    Posted 17 months ago by A Magical Unicorn Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Next time I'm sending invites to my friends in the mail, I should just cough up the money and do it through LBOARS, that way I don't get any backlash from it!
    Posted 17 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink
  • When game opens I clear out my currant (*sic) account to Lord Bacon-o, the great romantic
    Posted 17 months ago by riscy Subscriber! | Permalink
  • It's ok Riscy, you don't have to pay LBOARS to send me all those romance letters, I already know you are hot for me ;)

    jk!!  
    Posted 17 months ago by Laurali Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @laurali. :-)
    Posted 17 months ago by marycontrary Subscriber! | Permalink
  • bugger!!!! There goes my surprise, Laurali :(
    Posted 17 months ago by riscy Subscriber! | Permalink
  • "In operation since the moment I hit post topic"

    LOL.... you crack me up!!
    Posted 17 months ago by Pirate Apples Subscriber! | Permalink
  • And in case it was too small...
    The EGICCEH logo (it is pronounced "egg'Ick'eh").
    Posted 17 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
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