Topic

When Alph Imagined Time: A Story of the Calendar (completed & available for download)

EDIT: Here is a much easier to read and proofread PDF copy downloadable via Media Fire. LINK.

[As a silly silly side project, I've been making up an 'astrological' chart for the world of Glitch. Due to the curious nature of the Glitch calendar and the placement of certain holidays, it has gotten a bit wonky and complicated. This is fine. Astrology should be a bit wonky and complicated. In my head, I began to come up with justifications for some of the choices I was making. And then it started to become a story so I started to write it down. Since it looks like we'll have a relatively long break between tests right now, seems like a good time to start posting it.]


Table of Contents:

PART ONE
PART THE SECOND
PART THE SECOND POINT FIVE
PART TRES
PART GO FORTH 
PART A FIFTH OF HOOTCH
PART FIVE SUBSET B
PART LEONARD PART SIX
PART SE7EN
PART HENRY THE EIGHTH
PART MINER FORTY-NINER
PART X, the first
PART X, the second
PART X, the last aside
PART ELEVENTY


PART ONE
in which Alph imagines something and other Giants figure out what to do with it
     Some time after the Giants imagined existence, a thought occurred to Alph. “We don’t even know how much ‘some time’ it has been since we imagined existence because we haven’t imagined ‘time’ yet! Hell, can we even have existence without time?” (Interestingly, when (if there was even a 'when' if they didn't have time) Alph thought this, ‘Hell’ had not been imagined yet. That is another story however.)     So Alph gathered together the other Giants and said, “I’m going to imagine something so that we can keep track of how long something has been and how long it will be until the next thing.”
    “What do you mean by ‘how long’?” asked Mab.
    “What do you mean by ‘has been’?” asked Spriggan.
    “What do mean by ‘until’?” asked Humbaba.
    “What do you mean by ‘something’?” asked Cosma, who was a bit slow on the uptake but still wanted to sound like she had been paying attention.
    “Look,” exclaimed Alph, “this will make more sense if I just do it, okay?”
    “What do you mean by ‘will’?” the ten Giants asked in unison.
    “Time!” yelled Alph. And then he imagined time. “Boom. There it is. Deal with it.”
    “Ooooooooo,” said all of the Giants (except Cosma who had become distracted by a slight breeze).
    Now, Alph enjoys the whole fun of creating things but rapidly gets bored with everything that comes after. So he wandered off to get on with the business of imagining, leaving time sitting there in front of the other ten Giants.
    They all looked at time and then looked at each other. This lasted awhile, in part because they weren’t sure what to do with this new thing and in part because they just enjoyed the experience of having an ‘awhile’ for the first... um... time.
    Eventually, Tii gave a small ahem. “It appears to me that time is tricky business. I’m not sure how much of it we have. It may be infinite. It might be finite. Or It might be both. Or neither. That is the nature of these sorts of things. But in the name of fairness, we should break it up into pieces so that we can share it equally.” And with that Tii cut up time in years and years into months and months into days. (Only later were days separted into hours and hours into minutes and minutes into seconds. Again, a whole other story.)
    Tii continued, “I have broken time into years so it is manageable. And I broke each year into eleven months, because there are eleven Giants. And each month I’ve broken into days because months are still too big to carry in a bag.” Pot smiled at this because bags were his idea. “I made three hundred and seven days because that is a nice prime number. Each month has a different number days since having each month with an equal amount of days would be, well, boring. So now we should just decide which of us gets which month.”
    The Giants began roll the problem round in their big giant heads. Friendly, always one to peer through murk and see to the heart of a situation, rolled the problem quicker but with more care than the others. “Tell me,” he said to Tii. “I see that one month has three days and one month has seventy-three days and all the other months have a different number days in between three and seventy-three, correct?”
    “Yes,” Tii beamed. “And all of them fine, good prime numbers.”
    “Yes, yes. Very nice,” consented Friendly. “But if we split it straight by months, some Giants will get many days and some Giants will get very few. That does not seem very fair, now does it?”
     All the Giants looked to each other, unsure of whether it was fair or not. You see, the whole idea of fairness was a very new one. In fact, not much old than time. If such things had existed yet, fairness would have been created on Twoday and time was created on the very next Hairday. But they didn’t exist, so we are talking metaphor. (Of course, ‘metaphor’ wasn’t created for another week and a half, metaphorically.) With all of this in mind, the Giants were not sure what to do.
    Finally, Friendly spoke again. “The fairest thing would be to split the days evenly. Tii, how many days would each of us get?”
    It took Tii no time at all to figure it out. “Twenty-nine point nine zero nine zero nine zero nine zero nine zero nine–”
    “Good enough,” interrupted Friendly.
    “It keeps going,” said Tii. “Quite fascinating.”
    “This may all be fascinating to some,” snapped Grendline, “but that number seems like a very difficult one to deal with. Especially for those of us who are still confused by what numbers are in the first place.”
     Friendly said, “Then we shall make it simpler. We’ll each get twenty-seven days. Alph can have the first twenty-seven since it was his idea and all. And then, in turn, we can each have twenty-seven days, until the year is all gone and we start a new one. That seems fair, yes?”
    All the Giants nodded enthusiastically as Friendly’s idea seemed to exactly fit the very idea of fairness, as well as they understood it. 
    “Who shall get the twenty-seven days after Alph?” asked Zille who rarely spoke up unless it seemed like the obvious next thing to say.
    “Oh, we have twenty-seven days to figure that out,” said Friendly with a smile. “If I understand this whole time thing, that will be plenty.”
    And with that, eight of the Giants went off to imagine new things to fill the world. Only Friendly and Tii remained. Tii raised a tentacle (which, being wrapped around his/her/its central eye, was as close to an eyebrow raise Tii could get) and said, “Your plan sounds fair except for one thing. When all is done, there will still be ten days left over. What will become of them?”
    Friendly made something with his face and mouth and eyes that may have been a knowing smirk. Perhaps it was something different. “Something tells me that, in the end, it will all sort itself out. Yes, I believe it will.”
    Tii was not sure what Friendly meant or what the look on his face meant, but nodded as that seemed like the simplest thing to do.

[to be continued]

Posted 19 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • I loved this...every paragraph...thank you for recording the beginning for all of us to read and try to understand...thank you, Lord Bacon-o, thank you.  ^_^
    Posted 13 months ago by Dahlia DreadNaught Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thank you for all your hard work giving us such a wonderful tale.
    Posted 13 months ago by Piece of Serenity Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thx!!!!!
    Posted 13 months ago by pinokivio Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yay! Thank you!

    That was marvellous. :)
    Posted 13 months ago by Batsgirl Subscriber! | Permalink
  • *standing ovation*
    Posted 13 months ago by Wein Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hurrah, hurrah! That was incredible. My eyes genuinely welled with tears during the Cosma-Lem reconciliation scene when they both said, "The key." 

    Having read your story as it evolved and then today going back and reading the whole thing again, I am struck by how perfectly you captured the essence of Glitch (the game) culture at each point in time, from the spacious open-ended wandering of our Alpha and Beta days (punctuated by painful periods of waiting for time to return) to our recent silly spate of AB and Neva scuffles. You are telling the story of the ancient, distant creation of Ur, but for me at least this will also always also serve as a document of the different eras of *our* community's development. 

    You are such an elegant writer. You created a powerful story that has emotional resonance, character development, and redemption. At the same time you also captured the cultural tone of each period in our Glitch history in which you were writing. You created plausible and entertaining explanations for so many parts of our world, from big things like The Rook to little details like batterfly guano. *And* while creating this masterpiece of pathos and origin myth, you kept me giggling with puns and sneaky references and just plain hilarious stuff like "But if it did, it would sound something like a perfect 100 piece orchestra. If the orchestra were a tsunami. Riding a swan. In a volcano. Making love. Yes, a volcano making love. In a classy way."  

    I know how much mental energy it must have taken to see this through, so thank you! Thank you!
    Posted 13 months ago by Meridian Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wonderful story! And I can definitely see Gaiman in there.

    If you want a hand with proofing it at any point, give me a shout.
    Posted 13 months ago by Satu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • To everyone, thank you. Your words are super appreciated.

    Meridian, thank you especially for taking the time to write about specifics and for, well, 'getting it.' (Not that the rest of you don't get it... but it is nice to see it written out.)

    Satu, I might just do that. I need to take a pass at it and re-reformat it. I will then post a link to it all as one file and open it up for those who want to proofread/give notes. But in some sort of private way so the thread doesn't become a list of edits.

    Again, thank you all. And thank you Tiny Speck for creating so many colors to paint with. (And, heck, this story is all pre-Glitchens... there are so many things I didn't touch at all.)
    Posted 13 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
    Posted 13 months ago by Taral Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Love this story. I believe this story should stand as a true Myth of Ur. Not cannon, because true Myths may or may not be based in truth somewhere along the lines. So while I don't believe this should be made cannon in any sort of story line, I would like to see it etched into the history of Ur regardless.
    Also, do you have a mapping of these "astrological charts" you mentioned? I could very well read through the story again and calculate them myself (and I just might yet) but why duplicate if you already have it there?
    Posted 13 months ago by Xain Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I wish I could be more eloquent, but...

    *swoon*
    Posted 13 months ago by Jennyanydots Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Spectacular work, Lord Bacon-o.  Thank you SO much for sharing it with all of us. :) 
    Posted 13 months ago by Grem Sketch Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This is absolutely wonderful. It gives extra character to the world, the giants, the everything. I enjoyed it immensely.
    Posted 13 months ago by Zurin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This story needs to reside in a permanent in-game location somewhere like the Rook Museum, with each chapter accompanied by audio recordings and treasured for years to come.
    Posted 13 months ago by TomC Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Just finished some proofreading/editing. (oh, man. the two part tens were ROUGH!)
    Posted 13 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @TomC: Brilliant! Simply brilliant! I would love to see it with illustrations as well!
    Posted 13 months ago by Dahlia DreadNaught Subscriber! | Permalink
  • (I am having very very wonky internets today...)

    Xain, I do still have my "chart." It would be possible to figure it out from the story but I will try to drag it up and post it.

    The structure of the story (and which Giant had time when) as entirely based on the me trying to make sure that each Giant had time when the holiday that seemed to fit them came along. So Alph obviously had to have it on AlphCon and Lem on Lemadan and Pot on Pot Twoday. Which of course caused problems since many holiday are very close to each other. And in the complication that I REALLY wanted Recurse to be a shared day which meant the easy to divide 308 days (28 per Giant) turned to 307. But it was fun having to write to those restrictions.

    I also started this story before the animals/rocks/etc began talking. So there are contradictions. But that is a good thing.
    Posted 13 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Found it... and had to double check the math worked out.

    ALPH Primuary 1 - 27

    LEM (7) Primuary 28 - 29 Spork 1 - 3 Bruise 1 - 2

    POT Bruise 3 - 29

    LEM (8) Bruise 30 

    SPRIGGAN Bruise 31 - 53 Candy 1 - 4 

    GRENDALINE Candy 5 - 17 Fever 1 - 14 

    COSMA Fever 15 - 41 

    DREAM (no Giant) Fever 42 - 46 

    HUMBABA Fever 47 - 73 

    LEM (17) Junuary 1 -  9 

    MAB Junuary 10 - 19 Sept 1 - 13 Remember 1 - 4 

    LEM (24) Remember 5 - 11 

    ZILLE Remember 11 - 37 

    DOOM 1 - 5 (no Giant) 

    FRIENDLY Widdershins 1 - 27 

    LEM (27) Widdershins 28 - 31 

    TII  Widdershins 32 - 47 Eleventy 1 - 11 

    RECURSE (all Giants)
    Posted 13 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Sweet! Now if only I could figure out the date and time I joined, to see which Giant's time I was "born" under...
    Posted 13 months ago by Xain Subscriber! | Permalink
  • New and somewhat improved* version in PDF format available for download.
    Link.
    * meaning a lot of proofreading and tweaking and generally made more readable
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • YAY! I am first to get it and save it someplace I can reread whenever I need to feel Glitchy again! Thank you Lord Bacon-o!
    Posted 12 months ago by Kookaburra Subscriber! | Permalink
  • (how did that happen?) Well, since I am still here: Dare I ask for another story?
    Posted 12 months ago by Kookaburra Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Awesome, this is a wonderful novelette with over 40 pages in the PDF.

    I often see people put in their bios the Glitch calendar time of when their character was created. Is there a place that displays this?
    Posted 12 months ago by TomC Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Kookaburra: So kind! As to another story... Well, I have plenty in me. But for a few reasons you should expect another one too soon.

    TomC: How we decide a Glitchens birthday is an interesting question. Is it when you started playing Glitch? Or is it from the start of this particular run, meaning a some folks will all have their b-days be around the reset or the launch. (What are we calling that launch now? Launch Prime? Test Launch One?)

    I did some poking and found a few possible ways to find your b-day.
    • If you haven't been on for too long, you can find the date and time by going to Account and looking up when you got your first credits. I am a bit unclear about this. Mine only goes back to February and I know I signed up in December.
    • If you didn't delete it, you can check your email for the "Get Started!" email from Tiny Speck. However this doesn't mean you actually played then.
    If we are going by post-rest...
    • You can get close by looking up the date you got the Junior Explorer badge. Sadly, this only give a date and not a time.
    • If you haven't deleted it, you can look the email you got when you learned your first skill. 

    This gives me two options:
    Dec. 11, 2010, 5:29pm or Sept. 21, 12:29am

    I can covert these to Glitch Birthdays using Startling Fecundity's calendar great conversion tool.

    Giving me:
    23rd of Primuary, Year 12 (The Sign of Alph)
    or
    20th of Fever, Year 17 (The Sign of Cosma)
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thank you for the comprehensive analysis! I didn't think to check for that first email! Yes, I was thinking of when one first started playing glitch/created the account, excluding any resets.

    I look forward to your next tale!
    Posted 12 months ago by TomC Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I don't know why I didn't think of my activation email.
    Got that September 30 2011 @ 11:47am. That means I was "born" Standday, 29th of Remember, Year 17 (The Sign of Zille).
    Darn, I was hoping for Lem :P

    Actually, does anyone know what kind of timezone the Startling Fecundity page uses? It's just that if it's a different timezone to my email, that makes the date calculation wrong. I know it's kinda arbitrary at this point anyway, but I'd like to get it right.
    EDIT: To answer my own question, it uses the local timezone on the computer you're using. You can double check this by converting "today" from glitch time to local time.

    Also, thanks for the pdf, and thanks for the story. It's been great!
    Posted 12 months ago by Xain Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Sometime soon™ I will do a separate post on the ins and outs of astrology (or cosmalogy).

    Someone also needs to get on designing a Glitch Tarot deck. Just sayin'.
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hey, if anyone wants to illustrate any of this, that would be cool. Something that shows elements but never the Giants in full (because I think they should be left a bit of a mystery.
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @Lord Bacon-o  Glitch Tarot deck is an excellent idea (something I've actually been mulling over).  There is a sort of work-in-progress, needs-lots-of-feedback-and-refining 12-sided die-based divination system that has been created, though:

    www.glitch.com/groups/RNVKV...

    It's more related to runes and correspondences than anything else, but it might be interesting.
    Posted 12 months ago by Grem Sketch Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Grem: Love it! Thank you for pointing it out!
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Going to try to do the Cosmalogy (astrology) stuff over the holiday weekend.
    Posted 12 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Slightly improved PDF. Mostly larger font so it is actually readable on the ebook reader you got for the holidays.

    LINK.
    (I recommend reading the PDF version vs the forum version.)
    Posted 11 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow! I just started reading this, and this is killer! In a good way. All of a sudden I identify with cosma. (easily distracted) six thumbs up.
    Posted 11 months ago by Thursday Soleil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Finished! Well so far. make in nine and a half thumbs up, so creative!  I think everyone should read this!
    Posted 11 months ago by Thursday Soleil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • * nudge bump*
    Posted 11 months ago by Thursday Soleil Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow, thanks for this great act of imagining! I can see the Gaiman-esque influences, and really appreciated the way that you let the characters tell you where they were going.

    Well done!
    Posted 11 months ago by LokiPDX Subscriber! | Permalink
  • This is wonderful, just wonderful. I'd love to see more writing from you.
    Posted 11 months ago by musegarden Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Some day, muse. Hopefully.
    Posted 11 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Taking suggestions for another story.
    Posted 10 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • How about how the Rube family turned to a life of unprofitable commerce?  (just a fun short one)
    Posted 10 months ago by Kookaburra Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Great idea, Kookaburra.
    Posted 10 months ago by TomC Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I would also like to know about the Jujus and why they are so angry.
    Posted 10 months ago by Miel Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I vote for a story about the Smuggler(s?) and the Deimaginators!  Pretty, pretty please!
    Posted 10 months ago by Tribeca Subscriber! | Permalink
  • OMG THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AMAZING!!!!!!!! PLEASE MORE!!!!
    Posted 10 months ago by Misty Power Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Kookaburra, I actually have notes about Rube Island. I may tackle that (because it will be super easy to avoid anything that is already canon. As much as there is such a thing in Glitch.
    Posted 9 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • well done!
    Posted 9 months ago by *oOo*Shizz*oOo* Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The file link on mediafire was deleted. Could you perhaps upload it again, Lord Bacon?Please <3
    Posted 9 months ago by Lila Clemenceau Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm with Lila on this. Any chance you could link that pdf file again?
    Posted 9 months ago by kastlin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • PDF link should be fixed. And here it is.
    Posted 9 months ago by Lord Bacon-o Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Thanks, LB-o!! Link worked just fine!!
    Posted 9 months ago by kastlin Subscriber! | Permalink