Topic

Friends/buddy listings

I first asked a question on general about the workings of adding friends and making it mutual.
Now I understand it, I feel the need to complain about it.
Is there no way it could be changed that if you add a friend they only show up on their friends list if I also make it mutual? I don't really see the point of having a friends list if you have no control over who can claim your friendship.
If I have this right, if someone adds me as a buddy/friend I will show up on THEIR friends list. They will only show up on MINE if I make it mutual? this is how it shows for me anyway. I dont really like how someone can add you as a buddy and even if you don't make it mutual you show as THEIR buddy!
I want someone to be my "friend" because they want to be, not because I just MADE them mine :( I also don't want to look as if i'm someone friend if its just for show. Especially if I have never even spoken to them or acknowledged them In some sort of way.
Sorry if it seems petty, I just like to look my friends/buddies in the eye :)

Posted 21 months ago by Misha Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • "If I have this right, if I add a buddy/friend I will show up on their friends list. They will only show up on mine if I make it mutual?"

    Do you mean "they will only show up on mine if they make it mutual?"
    Posted 21 months ago by Cupcake Subscriber! | Permalink
  • @ cupcake..we are not buddies [ maybe we should be lol] If I added you right now. You would show as MY friend on MY buddies list. I would only show up as one of YOUR friends if you were to make it mutual... We can test this if you like? :)

    Note to add. sorry cupcake I did have to go back and edit. You may have read my post pre edit.
    Posted 21 months ago by Misha Subscriber! | Permalink
  • alrighty...just tested it out. you are correct :)
    Posted 21 months ago by Cupcake Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Bringing this up again; totally agree with Misha. I'm not officially anyone's friend until I confirm the request. It could be days before the confirmation or denial is in place. Having someone show up on the list before it's official seems ... premature at least, misleading at worst. Please consider changing this, devs.
    Posted 19 months ago by ~Alice~ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • So I'm bumping this thread with an additional concern. I picked 'not now' on a buddy request a while ago. The person who added me as a contact still has me on their friends list. They know where I am, what I'm doing, where I live and can even IM me--all without even being on MY friends list by MY 'not now' response. The option I have now is to block this person after a long process: I had to search for them though the forum to find them, pull up their profile page and see what options I had. Why does the work fall on me to correct a request that was denied in the first place? Not angry, just scratching my head over this one. PLEASE, Devs, look into this. It doesn't make sense that someone can track you in-game from a contact request that was denied. Thanks.
    Posted 17 months ago by ~Alice~ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • this thought has occurred to me as well when i post home page updates, but to be fair, all of this information is available to a person who has not made you their friend via your profile page.
    Posted 17 months ago by katlazam Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm going to go ahead and bump this because I'm interested if they plan to change how this works? Whats the point of declining if your added to their list anyway? Shouldn't it be that if I decline someone's friendship, then I am NOT added to their list and vice verser?
    Posted 16 months ago by BumbleBeez Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Maybe the issue is the word friend. Would you feel differently if it said follow? That's how it seems be set up right now, as a follow.
    Posted 16 months ago by emdot Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yeah, it seems more like the follow relationship of twitter right now than the friend relationship of Facebook. I believe it's set up this way because many of the core devs are from Flickr and Flickr uses the follow model.
    Posted 16 months ago by SleepyAce Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Yes, I think it's confusing.. I definitely would feel different if it said follow bc thats more realistic of how its set up... I wonder if they will be changing it? .. and how then does the block button work in comparison?
    Posted 16 months ago by BumbleBeez Subscriber! | Permalink