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#### Some People Just Ruin Parties

Some people just treat parties like the food is ALL for them. Literally. It makes me sick to lay out 6 awesome stews and to see someone pick them all up, then go about taking everything else.
The following is the text of an IM with one particular person. They took two of my stews I laid out for people, then upon getting the first IM came back and took the other remaining ones.
Nov 9 6:17:38PM You Why did you take two of the stews? :/
Nov 9 6:18:08PM [redacted] cuz i want too
Nov 9 6:18:22PM You Well, that's not very nice for everyone else, now is it?
Nov 9 6:18:36PM [redacted] yes it is
Nov 9 6:18:59PM You How is it fair? I set those out for everyone to enjoy
Nov 9 6:19:02PM You not just you
Nov 9 6:19:14PM [redacted] its all gor me
Nov 9 6:19:20PM [redacted] for*
Nov 9 6:19:25PM You No the hell it isnt
Nov 9 6:19:43PM [redacted] lalalalalal
Nov 9 6:19:47PM [redacted] i dont care
People like that piss me off more than the people who just take a few ingredients out of a set. I have all the skills, and can make anything. I am thiiiiis close to not participating in parties because I find enjoyment in cooking for everyone, but that is being stomped upon by people like that.
I asked someone in that same party to not take all the food I made, and someone jumps down my throat for going around and picking up ingredients. I guess they didn't care/see that I was cooking and dropping once I picked them up.
Parties are going downhill, and there should be some sort of blacklist somewhere so people know who NOT to invite. That, or people should understand that the general rule is TAKE ONE, LEAVE SOME FOR EVERYONE.

Posted 13 months ago by Rodger | Permalink

### Replies

- Not to be a jerk or anything but ToS says you can't put up names and call out people on the forums.
  Posted 13 months ago by Marion | Permalink
- where was the party?
  maybe put more effort/resources into radiating, random kindness, and sparkle powder than food?
  Posted 13 months ago by Treesa | Permalink
- Yeah, I tend to avoid parties now. =\
  Posted 13 months ago by Garney | Permalink
- Yep. Happens. If its your part, you have the power to boot them. And in the future remember them and not invite them. And if invited to a party, you have the option of looking at who is there before you jump in the portal.
  Posted 13 months ago by Lord Bacon-o | Permalink
- I didn't post any names. I am not trying to call people out, just giving an example of attitudes of some people.
  Posted 13 months ago by Rodger | Permalink
- It's normal party etiquette to take one, leave the rest or to drop something in return. I've only been invited to a couple of parties, but I have been lucky that I haven't encountered anyone who thinks to ruin the party. Quality party people FTW.
  — Mal'akh, Primate of Lem, Primus Inter Pares of the Orthodox Church of the Giants of Ur, Hubby of Aranna, Shriner of Mullangi Meda
  Posted 13 months ago by Mal'akh | Permalink
- If you put anything on the floor and walk away from it, anyone can take it. If you'd like to equally distribute what you've made, you can use the "give" function instead to hand food and drinks to individuals.
  Posted 13 months ago by glum pudding | Permalink
- It makes me sad that something equivalent to "The Tragedy of the Commons" plays out over and over again in these environments. Resources that are freely offered on an honor system of take & give get trashed by a small minority of greedy/oblivious/me-first-and-only folks.
  The game environment is a pretty accurate reflection of the wider world. Alas.
  Posted 13 months ago by Pascale | Permalink
- Not that it means anything, but I'm throwing this out there:
  I have a plan to play Glitch to keep myself from getting bored. The first thing I'm going to do is collect all the emblems to MAKE ALL THE ICONS. Then I'll probably COLLECT ALL THE CUBIMALS or something -- I don't know, I guess that'll be more like a hobby. Whatever.
  Anyway, after the obsessive icon run, I'm going to concentrate on becoming a Zille-ionare. And you know what I'm going to do with all my money? I'm going to throw all the parties ever thrown. They're going to be the parties that everybody wants to go to. But there's going to be a catch. In order to actually get into the party, there's going to be a system in place. I'm going to leave notes all over Ur, and on those notes are going to be a series of riddles. So, if you're clever enough to solve them, you can get in. (Or you can sneak in through the back door by being nice to me. And I mean legitimately nice. Not bribes or anything because bribes are stupid.)
  And thus, awesome parties will be returned.
  Posted 13 months ago by girlthulhu | Permalink
- Alas, indeed. :::heavy sigh::: The honor system depends on honor and some are without any.
  Posted 13 months ago by Ooola | Permalink
- You're probably better off using Give Something instead of dropping food if you're very concerned about certain people taking everything. If you drop food, you need to be prepared for this sort of thing. Not saying that the rude person was right to do what they did, but it's a possibility. This may be Glitch, but the fact is, it's still the internet, and people are still sometimes going to behave as if it's a consequence-free environment. :\
  Also, pretty sure you can kick rude people from parties, too.
  Posted 13 months ago by Laerwen | Permalink
- From the storyline I read, the offending party first took two. Then they were yelled at, which got them mad, and they took everything. It sounds like they were greedy but at least being a little bit polite about it until they were confronted in what sounds like a very hostile fashion. There was what appeared to be a little of a 'chip on the shoulder' attitude vented, that may have simply gotten them angry enough to no longer care. So they took everything to 'show' the person who confronted them.
  That's obviously my third party observation. But the OP appears to be a cut-paste directly from the incident.
  Why not walk around the party giving treats to participants rather than pile stuff all over the ground? If control of who gets what is that important, hand things out. It almost seems like stuff was put on the ground just to test people and then challenge them if they took more than is perceived 'fair.' That isn't sharing any more than taking everything in sight is. That's playing little games.
  Posted 13 months ago by Parrow Gnolle | Permalink
- I try very hard not to get my feathers ruffled when someone takes all the free food. There are no official rules on it. It's just etiquette.
  The one time I *did* mention it (because they ran from table to table taking everything in sight), they said they didn't realize it was to create food & drinks for the party. Then they began to offer making drinks for others.
  I think TS could rectify this situation fairly easily by just having party food & drinks that go away after you leave the party. i.e. party specific food
  Posted 13 months ago by Wynella | Permalink
- Due to some problems with food snatchers at parties in Timtim, we have been thinking about some in-game solutions that would help to ameliorate this situation. The best so far is the idea of the picnic basket or table or blanket. See details here.
  The basic idea is an item you can load party food into that people can only take one of each kind of item in the basket, or can only eat items in the basket, not take them into their own inventory. This would help to prevent some of the problematic behaviour of people swiping all of the party food and skedaddling.
  Posted 13 months ago by Scarlett Bearsdale | Permalink
- As Parrow pointed out, it seems more that taking everything was simply a defiant reaction to the PM (if they only initially took two, then started picking up everything else after the PM).
  It is no fun when people are perceived as rude, but there are many ways to circumvent the ones that will simply take all things from the ground. Good luck in the future... and don't let such a thing spoil your party fun.
  Posted 13 months ago by Little Miss Giggles | Permalink
- I like both the picnic basket (eat / drink right there or not at all, does not go into inventory) and special party food ideas. It seemed weird to me that we were expected to prep our own food and drink for a party.
  Actually, it would be cute if NPC caterers and bartenders distributed food and drink at parties instead of guests having to stop socializing and playing to make things themselves, if guests were limited to a few eat-it-here items each (enough to cap both mood and energy totally, once), and the person who paid for the party received all unused food and drink items (if any)--which would no longer be tagged as "eat-it-here only" outside of the party space--at party's end.
  Posted 13 months ago by ✰ Lorelei ✰ | Permalink
- Ok, the person picked up 2 of the stews you laid out and right away you question them regarding their actions. Some people can find that a bit off-putting or uncomfortable or accusatory or rude or none of your business or embarassing...and if they do then that could be the reason that they reacted the way they did.
  Personally I don't see anything wrong with someone picking up 2 items, especially if there's still more available for others to take.
  Now the one's who scoop up everything (even right from under your feet) is another story...I say just boot them from the party.
  Posted 13 months ago by Sir Mixalatte | Permalink
- (ok i said the same thing Parrow did but they said it better)
  Posted 13 months ago by Sir Mixalatte | Permalink
- You put two things on the floor and complain that someone took them and ruined it for everyone else?
  Two?
  Posted 13 months ago by shhexy corin | Permalink
- Someone taking two stews when you dropped six isn't a big deal. It's the glitchy vacuum cleaners who drive me away from a party. If you're so broke you have to steal everything in sight to get your mood/energy back just ask nicely and I'll give you a stack of food and drinks. Sheesh.
  Posted 13 months ago by Lucille Ball | Permalink
- Everyone plays differently. Some come here from games where it is normal to grab everything you can. Some just like to do that, it is a habit.
  There is no way to keep people from taking what they want. If the party is in your home or in a rented party place then you need not ever invite that person again. If you hold a party out on a street then you must understand that anything on the street can be picked up by anyone. Even if you stand on something, the timer will run out and anyone can pick it up.
  I know of no way to police Greed. Not desirable but that is how the game works unless someone goes way too far. Then maybe they will get a FREE trip to the Interrogation Room and/or the Jail cell. The last person I heard of who visited those places liked it and wanted to go back! (Rolls Eyes)
  Posted 13 months ago by Brib Annie | Permalink
- I totally sympathise with what the OP is saying. However, unless it’s nailed down, you’re always going to get a small minority who either [1] aren’t familiar with the party etiquette, or [2] simply don’t care about the party etiquette. It’s just something we’re going to have to deal with because it exists in every communal game I’ve ever played.
  Here’s what I do in such situations:
  [1] I give a general ‘shout out’ telling people what I’m giving away.
  [2] If people want what I’ve got to offer, they’re to come and give me a hug. I can’t be dealing with a dozen or so IMs, so giving me a huge is better.
  [3] I ‘give’ them the item. The party is happy for the item and I’m happy for the hug.
  I work on a first-come-first-served basis. One item per person. All rights reserved blah blah blah.
  Posted 13 months ago by Papa Vodou | Permalink
- This is why I think the picnic basket item is a good idea - because it removes the problem for people who care about it, but there is no onus on you to buy and use a picnic basket if you don' t care about fair distribution of common goods. For those who care, it means they can share with the world without feeling like they have to either police the proceedings (not as much fun as it sounds ;) ) or give up on the idea entirely given human nature.
  Posted 13 months ago by Scarlett Bearsdale | Permalink
- @shexycorin: Maybe you didn't read, but it was six, and more than two, and that's just from that one instance. It;s not like that's all the person did, but thank you for playing.
  Posted 13 months ago by Rodger | Permalink
- "...people should understand that the general rule is TAKE ONE, LEAVE SOME FOR EVERYONE."
  Wrong. I'm sorry about the rest of the situation; whoever it was was acting bratty, but there is no such ^rule. As a matter of fact, outside of the community guidelines, which does not include anything about that, there are no rules whatsoever.
  Posted 13 months ago by Cupcake | Permalink
- Until I'd been to a couple parties, I didn't realize that the spawning ingredients were all for a given dish, and if I knew I needed olive oil for something else on my mental checklist, for instance, I'd snag that and screw up the respawn unwittingly. (I'm nowhere close to being a master Glitch chef yet). When it was pointed out, I stopped doing it. Aside from that, etiquette is etiquette and I typically behave in Glitch (at a party or otherwise) as I would IRL. If someone else was there first, it's theirs (e.g keys). I leave something in exchange when/where I can if I pick something up at a party. (And if I need olive oil I'll take the whole spawn but drop a different dish if that's not one I can make). I don't hog all the coins on the street if others are also jumping around. I radiate in return for Random Kindness. I say thank you for random hugs and kisses. Etc, etc, ad infinitum.
  That said, if I'm alone on a street it's mineallmine, and if food is being ignored two minutes before party's end, I'm taking it home with me. I appreciate your stance, Rodger. I also think that too much policing of party behavior will result in a less friendly environment rather than simply discouraging those who don't know better. Every party is also different... I was at an hour long gala earlier today with only 6 other people and the attitude of the hostess was "Take everything and leave nothing behind!" So, I feel ya, but have patience, bro. At the end of the day it's only a game. (And it's not like you invited a friend into your house who in turn took a bunch of your stuff, but that's a vent of my own for another time).
  For the most part, I've found the Glitch parties to be incredibly convivial and fair and I hope that overall that's been your experience as well :)
  Posted 13 months ago by acro, obviously | Permalink
- Until i got the cocktail skill i didn't realize that the spawned ingredients were for a specific item. I think i started going to parties as too young a glitchling. (to be fair - i had the recipe for cold tacos but just didn't realize that all the spawned ingredients were for us to make and share out *d'oh*)
  But overall it's fun the parties - people share (especially if you're the one to take the first step). There's always at least one or two people not really getting into the party spirit, but then which party anywhere doesn't have a couple of those.
  Posted 13 months ago by Jugni | Permalink
- ok, what if i take two of your stew and eat them to replenish the energy i spent making other stiff for the party?
  just sayin'.
  and last week i was at a party and picked up all the stuff to make one of the party dishes and got yelled at for it.
  well, how am i supposed to make and drop the party dishes if is can't take the spawned ingredients into my inventory? huh, smartypants?
  Posted 13 months ago by flask | Permalink
- @Rodger I did read it, of course, yes. I might not have read it very well... in that there were apparently 6 stews on the floor.
  But I was referring to the bit where you said someone took 2 stews, so you had a go at them.
  This bit: "They took two of my stews I laid out for people, then upon getting the first IM came back and took the other remaining ones."
  So, you had a go at them for taking two stews? Two?
  Posted 13 months ago by shhexy corin | Permalink
- I didn't realise that the food there was from other people's inventory or that they might be for a specific dish. The rules appear to be unspoken - maybe they should be clearer.
  Posted 13 months ago by White Tiger | Permalink
- I couldn't agree more with Parrow. What a petty thing to get upset over. If this is "ruining your party", chances are your party wasn't all that fun in the first place.
  Posted 13 months ago by victoriah | Permalink
- heh, Parrow put it better than I did... certainly less confrontationally and with greater clarity .
  /shame
  Posted 13 months ago by shhexy corin | Permalink
- I am truly sorry that happened to you but as suggested, next time don't invite them and you'll see if the chat if someone brings them in...so "uninvite" as suggested. Don't let one ruin it for the rest of the best! Best of luck to ya!!!!!
  Posted 13 months ago by AlmostSilver | Permalink