Topic

A question on ettiquette

I got my first block today (what, no cheevie? D:). And it spawned some contemplation on my part. A glitch came to my street. Knocked. And being that I don't know them and I'm relatively new, I'm not sure the rules on that. The front yard is open to the public, I get that. The backyard is private because of keys. But if you let someone in, just what are they allowed to do? I've heard of people taking stuff lying around. Feeling that I don't want a stranger in my house until I knew, I denied. Another knock. Denied. We both spammed this for a while. Then she left. And I was left with a block and a note that read: "hctib a tahw" (needed that last word in edgewise, I suppose). This also led to doubts. Suppose there is nothing a person can do to harm my things, provided I took all the things I leave lying around. Am I under obligations to allow anyone in who asks? Is it rude to keep one's house to themselves and those who are given keys for being close friends? I'm constantly in the wiki looking things up and learning this game. I've tried to find things on manners, but all of them basically say, "Don't ruin/steal stuff and everything else is up to each owner." Very unhelpful. However, I haven't found anything that spoke on expectations involving one's house. Will someone please enlighten me on this issue? Although everyone will have different preferences, this person seems to think mine are beyond acceptable boundaries, and I don't want to be such an outlier out of ignorance. In this instance, I am glad to be blocked by such a person. Not all in glitch are kind. But most of them are and I don't want to turn them off by something on my end. Any input would be greatly appreciated, even just personal opinion. The opinions of all make up the community's general standard. I'm just not sure what that is.

Posted 4 months ago by Aeden Subscriber! | Permalink

Replies

  • you are under no obligation to let people in, especially if you don't know them. strangers in your house can pick up anything that is not in a cabinet or sdb (unless you placed it in decorate mode, but that has been buggy).
    Posted 4 months ago by beBlueberry Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Please don't feel bad about this.  It's not anyone's obligation to let anyone else into their house.  You might have gone outside and told them they could talk to you there (at least that might have stopped the knocking) but that's just one more way of handling the situation.  No better, no worse.  
    Posted 4 months ago by deadkat Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Hmm, since you asked I will put in my 2 currants. I hope that I can give a fair assessment of how MOST Glitchen like to treat others and be treated. The Golden Rule applies here as it does in real life. I would not let a stranger into my house (here or irl). I also do not take stuff unless A) I have already been told I can such as at friends houses B) am on a street and there is clearly no one else around.

    For someone to be "offended" by you not allowing them into the house is childish imo. However, I might have opened up a convo and tried to get to know the person a bit (you weren't clear on whether you did this or not). Still, I see no reason for you to doubt yourself. I most likely would've done the same. Add me if you like.

    And jsyk, the stuff in your house as far as I know is able to be taken if it is on the floor. Shelves and furniture and the things on them are safe.
    Posted 4 months ago by Holly Waterfall Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow, I'm pretty blown away that this person would block you because of this.  Usually I wouldn't do this but because of the note which I can read backwards, I would NOT want this person on my street, so I would block them as well. I'm not block crazy but this is too much. 

    I cannot believe how rude this person was to you. People knock on my door too. Usually it's the ones who just friended me and think we're besties and they can just stroll up in my home. Ya I don't think so.

    When strangers knock on my door I don't even say no, I just ignore it. They have no idea what I'm doing in my home at the moment. Maybe I'm afk? Maybe I'm on another tab? Maybe I just do not want them in and I don't. I in no way owe them any type of explanation either. I don't need to msg them or go outside. I don't need to tell them anything. 

    2 people have keys to my home. These 2 people I've known for about 3 years on another game we used to play together. I only give keys to those I trust and only let in those I trust. I have let a few other friends in, who wanted to see the inside of my home but still, these are some people who I've played this game with for almost a year not just some random person knocking.

    It's your home. Just like rl. You let in those you trust not just any old stranger who knocks and wants to use your phone. NO WAY!

    I would not only block this person from visiting your street but I would for sure report the note to TS in a help ticket. What he/she did was completely uncalled for and should be reported for grieving. 

    You did absoultely nothing wrong. Keep on playing.
    Posted 4 months ago by Eye Wonder Subscriber! | Permalink
  • ^ exactly what Eye Wonder said.
    Posted 4 months ago by Sunshine Tentacles Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Woah, thanks for the fast replies. ^^; I did not think to open conversation with the person. Unlike most would imagine, the spamming came pretty fast. So I was pretty much doing that since the start. And then it all stopped and I was blocked so... You may be right about talking to them and ignoring the knocks. In this case, I don't think it matters. In others though, I'll try to remember that. As for keys, although I have made some very nice friends in this game, I've only given out one key. I play with my fiance. In the beginning, it's hard because you want so many skills and they take a while. So we're specializing and because of that, we use each other's houses. We take things from cabinets; we borrow and move things around. They're great for that. Any friend of mine is welcome in my home. I trust they'll be gentle with it. But this is the only purpose of keys, friends are really just curious. And I don't think strangers belong. I did put in a report. I wouldn't have thought of it, but my butler asked me if I wanted to after I blocked. The games I'm from, this is technically harassment, but abuse reports are more for portal camping and excessive PKs and stuff. However Glitch is a very social game. Killing isn't even allowed. I worried that perhaps this is something that should be reported, so I sent one in. They, of course, said nothing would be disclosed, which is fine. I do hope something happens, though. It was so random that I worry that other people will have similar experiences. Most glitches have been nothing but kind to me. I don't want that to happen. Still, thanks for clearing up what can and can't be done. One last thing though. My backyard will be filled with machines and trees soon. Can these be used, just like the front yard? Or is the only worry that things on the floor will be taken? I've just completed a bunch of cabinets, so most of my stuff is tucked away now. But I'm thinking of putting some wood trees out back. Depending on how difficult fuel is to make (not sure, the skill's almost done), the machinery could also be an issue if drained. Thanks again for the input. I'll definitely not let it deter me from having fun with you all.
    Posted 4 months ago by Aeden Subscriber! | Permalink
  • do you have a phone in your real life home?

    you are under no obligation to be on demand for other people just because you have one.

    do you have a  door on your RL home? do you feel obligation to open it to any stranger who walks by?

    people knock on my glitch door all the time. almost without fail i simply don't answer. if some person i do not know can;t be bothered to open a chat with me before knocking, i don;t bother to open a chat to tell them why i'm not answering.

    yesterday some stranger knocked on my door repeatedly and posted in global demanding that i let them in. i did not.

    "i'm in your tower!!!" they crowed.
    "not anymore, you're not."

    i kicked them.

    your home is your home. make no apologies for keeping it that way. you owe no access to anybody just because you have a door.
    Posted 4 months ago by flask Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Blocking you for a perfectly reasonable action on your part shows that person is not understanding the game at all.  Too bad on their part.  They will probably find not too many people will just allow anyone they don't know into their homes. I certainly don't.

    You did the right thing.  They were very wrong.
    Posted 4 months ago by Tibbi Subscriber! | Permalink
  • OP wrote: "One last thing though. My backyard will be filled with machines and trees soon. Can these be used, just like the front yard?"

    No, those things are not public. Only you and people who have a key to your house have access to your house and your backyard. Anyone you have trusted with a key will be able to use those machines and harvest those trees. But no-one else can.

    I'm glad that you took the time to make a report as well.
    Posted 4 months ago by Flowerry Pott Subscriber! | Permalink
  • To be blunt, that person was an asshole. You had every right to not let them in. You have every right to never let anybody in. It's your only completely personal space in the game, and it's up to you whether other people are allowed in.

    Somebody who comes pounding on your door, repeatedly, like you HAVE TO let them in if they're persistent enough, if an ass who completely fails to understand this game.  Somebody who was being that pushy and entitled would be the last person I'd trust in my house. Insulting you was probably just sour grapes.

    As for everyone else, well. It's up to you whether you let general visitors into your house. Screening is perfectly acceptable. You can decide on a case by case basis, and probably should.

    I don't know about your backyard machines and trees. You might want to ask in Live Help about those before you start accepting visitors you don't know IRL.
    Posted 4 months ago by Raw Toast Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Do not feel bad--there have been quite a few incidents of people randomly knocking on strangers' doors, then stealing everything they can grab once inside.  Frankly, if this person was being a pest like that, and then leaving you a nasty note to boot?  They probably were looking to steal from you.  Lots of thieves and scammers both online and in the real world will use aggression to get their prey to open up access to things that can be stolen or destroyed, and when their plans are met with resistance, they get angry and say or do nasty things.  They feel ENTITLED to rob you, and they want you to think you're the hctib for not letting them have what they think they're entitled to.

    Even if this person weren't a thief though?  Banging on someone's door repeatedly, while being denied entry? That's incredibly stupid and childish.  I'd be surprised if the player was old enough to play here (there are minimum age requirements in the ToS).

    Protect your space, and don't waste your time with rude people like this--if another person does it to you, block and report them.  You owe them NOTHING.
    Posted 4 months ago by MG Botia Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I think pretty much everything has been said, but I just want to say again: You did absolutely nothing wrong and the person at your door did everything wrong. At least 99% of the players on Glitch are wonderful, but that bottom 1% can be a real pain. You had an unfortunate interaction with one of the bad apples. Don't let it bother you. Have fun with the 99%!
    Posted 4 months ago by Hawkwell Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow, their behaviour was utterly uncalled for. As others said, you can apply many real life rules in this game - and repeatedly bothering someone you don't know even when they have made clear that they are not interested, finishing off with using a sexist insult on them, would be considered unsocial behaviour in most places.

    I'm level 56, and I think I've let about three people into my house so far. Especially with the towers, you can meet people there to conduct trades and so on, without any need to nail down everything in your house because you don't know the people you let in. The fact that a "knock" feature exists and people cannot just waltz in does suggest that we are encouraged to not let everyone in.

    It's good that you reported this. The community here is a lot better than in many online games, but in order to keep it so, I think that we should all watch out and make clear that the majority of the community doesn't tolerate certain kinds of behaviour.
    Posted 4 months ago by Not a Princess Subscriber! | Permalink
  • did they leave the note with the insult written backwards? 

    that's a heinous crime in itself. 
    Posted 4 months ago by shhexy corin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • If you are in your Home when someone knocks they can tell that you are Home.  You probably should have gone outside to meet them.  Some items can be picked up and may be by some people you like.  I let someone in my house while I was upstairs using my machines.  I figured she would not do anything but if she did, there was nothing I couldn't easily replace.  She did not join me upstairs.  Later I went down and spoke with her and after she left I noticed that my two BBs of crop and herb seeds were gone!  I was amazed!  I think I was more astounded that she had two open inventory slots than that she actually took my seeds - Lol!  She is still on my Buddy list but next time I will go out to meet her.  This is a game after all, not RL.
    Posted 4 months ago by Brib Annie Subscriber! | Permalink
  •   This is a game after all, not RL.

    WHAT IS THIS HERESY?????
    Posted 4 months ago by shhexy corin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Brib Annie wrote: You probably should have gone outside to meet them.

    What rot. Why should you? if you're doing something you want to get done it might not be convenient

    No. OP 100% in the right. And should not be upset, but relieved,  that they were blocked because why would you want to communicate with someone who is themselves a hctib. 
    Posted 4 months ago by IrenicRhonda Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Back in my old house, a Glitchen I didn't know asked if she could come in and see what it looked like, as she was considering buying one on the same street. Being the fool I am, I let her in. It took me about ten seconds to realise she was picking up musicblocks from my collection on the floor as fast as she could (damn those days before storage display boxes!), and I summarily booted and blocked her. Since then, I have never let anyone into my house that I don't know IRL. Lesson learned.

    (I still have her blocked, but "she" is now a "he".)
    Posted 4 months ago by Fritzl Subscriber! | Permalink
  • You are definitely under no obligation to do anything. I might have sent them an IM going "Hey, what's up?" but you don't HAVE to do that. There are multiple ways of getting a hold of someone in this game, spamming their door is just ridiculous.
    Posted 4 months ago by Aliera Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I am glad that most seem to be in agreement about this. I think it makes it easier for the community to understand each other. Although it is sad to see so many optimistic and trusting people with their own stories. At least no real damage was done with me. The thieves, although disconcerting, do answer a question of mine. I understand that you don't need to know a person to visit their street. I visit the streets of others all the time for resources. However my street is boring right now. I've been putting all of my effort into the backyard and some cabinets for my home. The front only has an egg tree I just put in for a quest. Oh, and a gnome. So people would stop trying to be helpful and pet it. It's not the sort of street you visit. Sometimes friends will stop by or someone from global when we've been chatting but...it's not a big hotspot for strangers yet. I'm still trying to dig my heels in. Honestly, if I were a thief, I think I'd just turn around. What can a noob have that's of much value? You all have been very kind in erasing my doubts. You are not the sort that deserve that sort of treatment from others. I do plan to invite people into my home, because I love working towards goals and there are some achievements regarding guests. But I'll be sure to clean my house and invite some friends I've talked to for a long while. Then it can truly be called an achievement.
    Posted 4 months ago by Aeden Subscriber! | Permalink
  • What can a noob have that's of much value?

    Naiveté...  Making it easier to take advantage of you and steal what little you have.

    Luckily you showed 'em! 
    Posted 4 months ago by shhexy corin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I'm pretty offended by the idea that anyone would leave a note both swearing at you and with a gendered insult.  I know that these things are considered acceptable in a lot of places, both online and in life, but to me here it's a pretty clear violation of the whole respect part of Glitch's community guidelines.  (Note: I'm pro-swearing, but not at/about folks in way that's obviously intended to be harassing.)

    Quite a few folks have keys to my house but they are all people I know in real life.  I've rarely had any knocks on my door and I don't think I've ever gone into the house of someone I hadn't interacted with at least a little bit before.
    Posted 4 months ago by Persephone Pear Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I did have a knock a few days ago.....from a name i haven't seen before or since. Needless to say i didn't answer the door. I was busy gardening at the time. If someone stops by that i know, I'll let them in, if i don't i wont, all the same i put things away before letting anyone in. Oh and http://www.glitch-strategy.com/ has specifics on housing as to what is safe where.
    Posted 4 months ago by Lyrical DejaVu Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Weird. I have never had anyone knock who wasn't invited to my home. I don't let strangers in my house. Why would a stranger even want in? I would have gone outside to meet the person, mostly because I'd be really curious to see who they were and what they want. You are under no social obligation to let anyone into your house even if they are your best friend. The sad truth is that some people are trolls and they will try to make you unhappy. Just ignore them.
    Posted 4 months ago by Grackle Subscriber! | Permalink
  • am disgusted that person did this to you and i guess my response is that it takes one to know one...

    i never let anyone in my house that i don't know in RL and am very sad that someone would think it's okay to do this. Chin up, block them back and IM me their name so i can block them too!

    Hugs
    xoxoxox
    Posted 4 months ago by Arietty Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Brib Annie wrote: You probably should have gone outside to meet them.
    What rot. Why should you? if you're doing something you want to get done it might not be convenient...

    I certainly did not mean to indicate that the OP was wrong.  They were NOT wrong.  I only meant that if someone keeps knocking it's a good idea to go out or at least ask what they want.  The visitor was totally in the wrong in my opinion but I did neglect to mention that.  Not everyone wants visitors just because they are Home.  The visitor's reaction seems amazingly uncalled for.
    Posted 4 months ago by Brib Annie Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I actually strongly disagree, Brib. The onus is completely on the knocker. If you knock on someone's door and they ignore it or decline, then you need to move on. Continuing to knock merely makes you obnoxious and at no point creates a "should" for the inhabitant of the house. In real life you could make the argument that you should check in case someone is in danger. But since danger is not actually possible in Glitch, that argument is not valid.
    Posted 4 months ago by Sunshine Tentacles Subscriber! | Permalink
  • tl;dr.   When someone knocks on my door I come outside to talk to them. 
    Posted 4 months ago by WalruZ Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Usually when someone knocks I assume it is a mistake click while trying to catch my butler, or someone very hopeful that I am stupid enough to let them in. 

    I will usually IM and/or go out to meet them as everyone has said. Don't worry about it. It doesn't sound as though you're missing out on a great Glitch to know/associate with. You've done the right thing.

    Ditto Shhexy - the only thing that I can think of that would be worse is if the note was also in Comic Sans
    [shiver]

    EDIT: I must add that sometimes I am in a world of my own (esp. in decorate/upgrade furniture mode) and don't notice the door knocking or IM's for about 30 secs. I sometimes even miss the pop up assuming I have sold something in my tower or AH. Come to think of it I may be a bit of a Glitch recluse stocking up an entire SDB with the empty firefly jars I use to piss into Howard Hughes style. Hmmm.
    Posted 4 months ago by Cleops Subscriber! | Permalink
  • The only persons that I let in my house are a) the ONE person I gave a key to and b) those Ive known in game for awhile that I know wont steal my stuff.

    Its just like in real life....theres no law that says I have to answer my door just because someone knocks on it. Knocking is just asking if they can come in. By not answering the door, you are saying, No, you may not come in my house.

    Only let people you trust into your home. Both in the game and in real life. That is YOUR HOME. You dont have to let anybody in but yourself if you dont want to!
    Posted 4 months ago by Serenity's Mommy Subscriber! | Permalink
  • p.s If someone left me a note like that (read it backwards guys if you havnt yet) I would of sent them a note that said "yep, I am" and blocked them. Thats just freaking rude. You dont want to be friends with someone like that!
    Posted 4 months ago by Serenity's Mommy Subscriber! | Permalink
  • I don't believe I could've left a note, Serenity. I mean, I can't IM them and can't visit their house so...as far as I know, they're unreachable. In theory I could track them down and speak in normal chat but...I'm not that creeper and I don't think it's worth it, at this point. Sometimes you just have to accept that things aren't going to work out. However, I'd like to say that I'm kinda glad for it. If every jerk made me half as many friends as that person did, I'd welcome the knocking. All the kindness I have received since definitely makes up for it in my mind. It's like the community makes its own karma. It's kinda cool, actually. Thanks guys.
    Posted 4 months ago by Aeden Subscriber! | Permalink
  • Wow. That's an awful situation. As everyone else has said, you were perfectly within your rights and not at all the one being rude. I'm sorry you had to encounter someone so petty. There's always a few, though!
    Posted 4 months ago by Little Miss Giggles Subscriber! | Permalink
  •  I could track them down and speak in normal chat 

    If someone has blocked you,  I don't think you can chat to them in local chat either.  I know you won't get a message saying they're in the same street as you, for example.
    Posted 4 months ago by shhexy corin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • You can't. You can track them down and hand them a note, though.
    Posted 4 months ago by Little Miss Giggles Subscriber! | Permalink
  • you can give people things if they've blocked you? 

    tracking down someone who's blocked you sounds a wee bit stalky to me
    Posted 4 months ago by shhexy corin Subscriber! | Permalink
  • That's one thing I've seen stated a few times in all these sorts of threads. I've never been blocked (or at least haven't found out that I have been), so I can't say 100%.

    As for tracking them down sounding stalky, to me it would depend on context, frequency and the people involved.
    Posted 4 months ago by Little Miss Giggles Subscriber! | Permalink