Crab Claws for your emo-bear for St. Patty's day. :)
That way you can pinch people who aren't wearing green, fair or not (if it's easy to implement the ability to identify a green color, then do so accordingly). lol. Maybe throw some badges in?
Hahaha, cute. i was thinking the same thing, but since we already have a plank, you can just splank someone if you want to, or moon them. There's not enough mooning...
What about the poor pagans that were ousted by St. Paddy? If they don't wear green, ya' gonna' pinch 'em too? Hail to the snakes! (she said, wearing green) ;)
Or a shillelagh made from a couple of planks and a bit of tin. Traditionally a real shillelagh would be smothered in butter too (and then smoked in a chimney)